SATC’s Nixon Sure Took a Roundabout Way In Proving That She Is, In Fact, Not a Lesbian

So Cynthia Nixon—Miranda—is engaged. To a woman. That’s great. Good for her. She can do whatever she likes. Like T.I. said. And Keith Olbermann. And God. And Iowa. And others, probably.

I do have a question, perhaps Freudian thinkers can help me: Does it mean anything that here soon-to-be spouse looks exactly like a man?

I don’t mean in the way that softball players, swimmers, and female basketball coaches are manly, or mannish. I mean she looks likea guy. Just a normal guy. Not even an effiminate male—just a dude.

I don’t really want to get into the specifics here in terms of, ahem, equipment, but could this perhaps be the sign of a bisexual? Or someone still struggling with their sexual identity? Or maybe Nixon finds penises to be really gross. I don’t mean this to be disrespectful, either. I just wonder if Nixon sort of fooled around with women after previous heterosexual relationships and just kind of dug it. Like she was sort of into it and liked the variety, but my that Robert Redford is damn handsome!

Perhaps this is Nixon’s attempt at playing God. ‘If only he’d made men with perky breasts that cry when framed picture collages don’t hang properly,’ she’d think. ‘Now, I’ve found her. Or him.’

Or maybe they’re in love or whatever.

Link: Cynthia Nixon ENGAGED To Chrsitine Marinoni (HuffPo Entertainment)