The Entertation Index: May 18

Allen, Woody Vs. Apparel, American - Monday sees the opening of a trial pitting the comic against the hipster clothing manufacturer after American Apparel used images of Allen dressed as a Hasidic Jew on an L.A. billboard. Claiming the use of his pic was “sleazy,” American Apparel countered with a particularly nasty argument that Allen’s reputation isn’t as clean as he’d think, threatening to bring up details of the director’s relationship with adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn as evidence in court. AA’s particularly gaunt, aloof attorneys were unavailable for comment and refused to remove their iPod earbuds.

Link: Woody Allen Trial to Open Against Clothing Company (Yahoo) 

Art, Sports and – This spring, New York’s Central Park has been besieged by experimental artists devising highly conceptualized “art-sports” which include “Circle Rules Football” (no boundaries, just as in life, get it?), “1 V 1″ (basketball with a paddle wheel and ice tongs ) and “Bag Tag,” where actors/artists must change into a costume before hurling objects into color-coordinated trash bins. In a quote from the New York Times article, artist/founder Greg Manley told the NYT “Everything inherent in theater is inherent in sports. Drama is conflict, and there is no better conflict than the Super Bowl.” Manley reportedly was then given a football and asked to throw it, which he promptly tanked three feet into the ground in front of him. 

Link: With Games They Invent, Artists Unleash the Athletes Within (New York Times)

Battleship, Movie Adaptation of – I know what you’re thinking: “I’d like to get out to see more movies, but I play so many board games that it’s hard to find time.” Consider your prayers answered. Director Peter Berg is in talks to film a live-action adaptation of the venerable game Battleship for the big screen, recreating it as an “epic naval action/adventure.” If that’s not strange enough for you, get this – the Battleship deal is actually one of several deals with Hasbro to develop games into films; Michael Bay’s production company is attached to Ouija Board, Enchanted’s Kevin Lima is attached to (no joke) Candy Land, and Ridley Scott is currently working on a Monopoly adaptation. And yet, for the past ten years, Univeral continues to ignore calls I’ve made about my Connect Four buddy-cop movie script. Shame on you, Universal. 

Link: Director Game for “Battleship” Adaptation (Reuters)

Jam, Pearl - Jeff Ament, bassist for Seattle rockers Pearl Jam, was injured during an April 27th robbery outside a music studio in Atlanta, where he was chased and knocked to the ground before being stripped of his passport, $3,000 in cash and $4,320 in goods. At least Ticketmaster wasn’t armed when they stole from the band in 1999. Atlanta police officers have been prompted to on the lookout for two men trying to offload the last remaining Screaming Trees album and sporting fashionably worn flannels.

Link: Pearl Jam’s Jeff Ament Injured in Robbery Outside Atlanta Studio (Rolling Stone)

Survivor, Winner of - Congrats to rancher J.T. Thomas, crowned the show’s 18th season winner in a live New York finale last night. Thomas, who dominated practically everything in the game, beat out corporate consultant Stephen Fishbach for the $1 million. Coming in fourth was Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George, wife of former NFL star Eddie George and former member of pop group Sisters With Voices, who may or may not have told The Entertation Index that Thomas’ win made her feel “so weak in the knees she could hardly speak.”

Link: “Survivor” Crowns Its Newest Millionaire (MSNBC)

Story, Toy - During press junkets for Pixar’s latest Up, CEO John Lasseter spoke on details for the upcoming third sequel to the venerable hit Toy Story, which reportedly will focus on the short-term shelf life of toys.”The thing they worry about the most is all the things in life that prevent them from being played with, and probably the thing they fear the most is being outgrown,” said Lasseter. Hey, Buzz Lightyear — give Universal a call. Apparently they’re going through their closets at home and turning anything they see into movies. Seriously.

Link: In Toy Story 3, Shelf Life Dwindles (CBS News)