Petty Gratitude from a Little Life
It says a lot about me that my list of what I’m thankful for is only 3 items long. But there it is:
1. Intervention
The staple of A&E’s Monday night line-up and the one show guaranteed to make you feel better about yourself. Each episode leaves me thinking, “Yeah, I’m a lazy bastard, but at least I don’t sleep with creepy men in order to get the money I need to purchase the commercial cleaning products I’m addicted to huffing.” This show is a never miss for me. Unless, of course, they somehow decide to feature binge-eating judgmental assholes. Then it won’t be cool.
2. Food Competition Shows
Nothing says “fuck you” to the starving people of the world like shows dedicated to competitive cooking and eating. Only in America (and Japan, the other America) would we take the humble art of preparing/eating something delicious and turn it into an obnoxious and wasteful game. You hungry little Sudanese girl? Too bad. Andrew Zimmern already ate the world’s supply of bull penis.
3. The Soup/The Daily Show
Seriously, if it weren’t for these two shows, I’d probably off myself (yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Get in line.). Although they really only exist to document the decline of discourse and common decency (thus, in a perverse way, perpetuating a further decline), they remain the only sane commentary in the nut house. In a world where Nancy Grace, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Tool Academy are the norm, I’d be at a total loss without Joel and Jon. Except for the fat jokes. I mean, seriously. Fat jokes? In 2009? See #2. You guys can do better.
