StyleSheet: September 2012

We here at The Tweed know that you are very busy and important, and thus don’t have time to read all those silly style magazines. Yet you want to stay hip! So, we do the heavy lifting for you. Each month we read the glossy mags (for guys and girls), and round up the latest fashion trends. You’ll always be in style and you won’t have to flip through 3,000 Tommy Hilfiger ads.

The September issue of most fashion magazines is always the fattest (Vogue is close to 1,000 pages!), as it highlights the Fall/Winter design collections and shows you what everyone will be wearing for the next few months. Here are the top trends for guys and girls we’re seeing this month:

FOR THE LADIES

1. Burgundy
Burgundy (or “oxblood” if you want to be all fancy about it) is HUGE this fall. Billed as the new neutral, the idea is to wear it as you would black, gray or khaki. All the major brands are featuring full suits in the color, which can look pretty sharp. Just please, please do not wear burgundy from head to toe. Maybe try it in a nice pant, or a top, or a shoe, or a purse. Just not all of those things at once. You will look like Willy Wonka.

2. The Classic Trench
Trench coats seem to never really go out of style, but this year they are here with a vengeance. Classic khaki, black, red, cobalt, yellow — you name the color, there’s a trench to be had in it. Try pairing your trench with a pencil skirt or a nice pair of trousers and some funky heels. Do not wear your trench out in public with nothing underneath, as some famous people like to do. You’ll look like a flasher and will probably be arrested.

3. Wine-Stained Lips
The hottest lip color this fall is the color of a nice Merlot, and the darker and gothier, the better. Sure, you could purchase your preferred shade from any number of cosmetic companies: Maybelline’s Wine and Forever (my personal favorite), Revlon’s Wine Not, Rimmel’s Burgundy Shine. But where’s the fun in that? Why not just pick up a bottle of Two Buck Chuck and DIY some authentic wine-stained lips of your own?

4. Equestrian
Designers this fall want you to look as if you went straight from the stables to the office without enough time to stop and clean the horse shit off your boots. Riding gear is all the rage, with Tommy Hilfiger launching a deliciously twee ad campaign around the hunting parties I’m sure we’ll all be having. You can pick up your own version of this equestrian-style gray blazer from Banana Republic for $130, from The Gap for $90, or from Target for $35.

FOR THE GENTS

1. Dressing Like an Old Man
The most fashionable men you know will all be sporting this hip new trend: dressing like their grandpas. Pants that don’t quite fit, mismatched shirts, old floppy hats. Basically, just go to your nearest Goodwill and find the most garish, ill-fitting pieces you can. You’ll have a brand new wardrobe for less than $50! If you absolutely must buy new, take your pick from any of H&M’s latest offerings. None of it will look good, but that’s how you know it’s cool.

2. Oversized Watches
Comically-large wristwatches are all the rage this season. Athletes, models, rappers, Cee Lo… everyone seems to be wearing watches so large they’ll make you walk lopsided. The upside? No one will ever ask you for the time, ’cause they can see it for themselves from across the street. Pick up your very own Michael Kors Oversized Runway Watch (a steal at $250) or the understated Timex Easy Reader ($30). Go big or go home, amirite?

3. Ridiculously Overpriced Basics
Classics are classics for a reason — some pieces will just always look good. Those are the pieces you should buy once in your life, and buy quality. Sure it’ll cost more, but the theory is that you’ll never have to replace it, so in the end it’s a bargain. Esquire certainly seems to think so, recommending $3,000 Ralph Lauren bomber jackets, $10,000 Kiton overcoats, and $5,000 Hermès weekend bags. So stock up!

Be sure to check back every month so you won’t walk out of the house looking like a fashion trainwreck!