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Just For Men‘s Advertising Team Needs a New Approach

May 28, 2009

Oh, bald people. When will you learn that it’s impossible to be hired on merit alone? No worries, Just For Men has all the answers.

Remember when the ads for Just For Men consisted of Keith Hernandez and Walt Frasier sitting at a bar, watching bald men fail trying to pick up chicks? Somehow, Just For Men has created a commercial with a less believable situation.

The scene: A teenage girl is preparing her obviously fashion-retarded dad for a job interview.

First of all, and this goes for all advertisers, why must married men always be portrayed as bumbling ninnies without even the most basic life skills? How is this a fair stereotype? Why not show women constantly bitching about the smell of our post-softball-game-bender farts? It’s probably more realistic. Look, we men would rather kill brain cells with beer and recreational drugs than converse with our wives, but we can take the fucking trash out and do the dishes.

I’d like to see a housewife weed-eat without having mulch-shrapnel shred her shins. It goes both ways, ladies. You gals suck at stuff, too.

Still, you can’t blame Just For Men for this bland portrayal, because everyone does it. It’s an easy, safe, and unfunny joke—advertisers eat that shit up.

Secondly, the young lady as her dad’s fashionista. Impossible. Show me a 15 year old that speaks to her unemployed dad without calling him a worthless douche-tard. “I know the economy’s tough, daddy. Just keep your finally non-bald head held high. You’ll find something!”

Please. Little Alden or Bailey or whatever would be all in his shit. “You seriously can’t dress yourself? No wonder you can’t get a job. Guess what, being bald probably wasn’t what was holding you back, moron.”

Which leads to the third point: Bald people can’t get jobs? Or is this what Just For Men expects us to believe?

Just For Men Advertising Gurus Meeting:

“OK, so we just have to prove that bald people get jobs less.”

“Ew, that may be tough.”

“I don’t understand. Why?”

“Well, the research just doesn’t match up. Plus, I think that would probably be illegal.”

“Shit, you’re right. Maybe we can just present that notion as fact, and people won’t pay too much attention to it. I mean, it’s understood that bald people aren’t respected, right?”

“(to himself) I need a new job.”

They could have saved themselves if the commercial ended with the dad entering and the young girl looking into his eyes, sensing despair. She’d look up, “well?”

Just then Frasier and Hernandez would burst through the wall: “Re-jected!”

2 Comments
  1. September 8, 2009 8:58 pm

    The commercial was in reference to hair COLOR not baldness…Pay attention

  2. anthony lewis permalink
    March 20, 2010 9:20 pm

    That’s hilarious and true. I hate the commercials I hate the stereotypes and I hate the cheesy BS behind all of it… Nailed it!!

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