The Entertation Index: June 12

Do, Is There Anything He Can’t? — The city of Omsk, Russia, is using cardboard cutouts of Brad Pitt in a traffic cop uniform to slow motorists in dangerous intersections.  Brad Pitt has now successfully battled speeding in Russia, Jared Leto (Fight Club), aging (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), domestic boredom (Thelma and Louise, married to Angelina Jolie), and a Honey Bear (True Romance).  Scientists are now researching how to use Brad Pitt to fight gingivitis and plaque.

Link: Brad Pitt Used To Fight Speeding In Russia (Huffington Post)

Hilton, Paris — a source close to Ms. Hilton says that after a huge public blow-up with no-longer boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, Paris revoked Reinhardt’s right to enter her gated community.  This is apparently the first time Paris has refused any of her boyfriends entry into anything.

Link: Paris Dumps Doug (The Sun)

Lewinsky, Monica — Daily Mail (UK) reports that reclusive ex-paramour of Bill Clinton was seen on a lunch outing with actor friend Alan Cumming.  Fighting…urge…to make obvious and inappropriate joke…

Link: Monica Lewinsky makes a rare public appearance (Daily Mail)

Unsurprising 1, Completely — People has confirmed that Heidi Montag will be featured in the September issue of Playboy.  From over-exposed, surgically-enhanced reality show alum to nudity neophyte: this should come as a shock to absolutely no one.  Heidi, please consult Survivor’s Jerri Manthey for advice on this career arc.

Link: Heidi Montag Poses for Playboy (People)

Unsurprising 2, Completely — The Gloucestershire Constabulary (this is fun to say out loud—try it!) arrested Pete Doherty, singer and former Kate Moss boyfriend, and charged him with drunk driving, driving without a valid license, driving without insurance, and drug possession.  Authorities also “could have cited him for about a million other things, including lack of exposure to sunlight, rickets, and singing for a band called Babyshambles”, but ran out of paper.

Link: Pete Doherty Arrested (Huffington Post)