Skip to content

Important Demographic Information: The Top-Grossing Concerts so Far in 2009

June 26, 2009

(Ed. note: While The Brown Tweed Society routinely writes for a wide audience, it also adheres firmly to the organization’s founding mission statement, which was penned in 1931, and which reads that “important cultural information should be shared forthwith, lest it fall into the unsavory hands of confidence men, flimflammers or pirates.”)

Attention concert promoters: Billboard Magazine has tallied the highest grossing concerts thus far for the year. Today, in an effort to help you to more effectively market towards the appropriate audiences, I recap this top ten and offer you and your conglomerate employers valuable information regarding these ticket sales so you may better market future events. You’re welcome.

1. Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival – Indio, CA

Featured Acts: Paul McCartney, The Killers, The Cure, Morrissey, M.I.A., Franz Ferdinand

Representative Ticket BuyerFans of the retro new-wave eighties-esque movement; sad people; fans of Sri Lankan hip hop; people who are confused as to why Paul McCartney is playing.

2. Stagecoach Festival – Indio, CA

Featured Acts: Brad Paisley, Kenny Chesney, Reba McIntire, Kid Rock, Poco

Representative Ticket Buyer: Country music fans; people who like Jimmy Buffett’s music but don’t like him; males 18-34 with an average income of $45,000-$65,000 who want people to think they’re from a locale which spawns “hellraisers;” the two people who remember Poco.

3. Simon & Garfunkel – Sydney, Australia

Representative Ticket Buyer: Australians with glasses, ponytails

4. George Strait, Reba McIntire, Lee Ann Womack, Blake Shelton – Arlington, TX

Representative Ticket Buyer: Hunting enthusiasts; tow truck drivers; rural gas & electric office receptionists; servers from “Texas”-themed restaurants.

5. Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, Montgomery Gentry, Miranda Lambert, Lady Antebellum – Chicago, IL

Representative Ticket Buyer: Identity-seeking Chicagoans who don’t like the blues; people who quantify that they only like “modern country;” fans of “high energy” country music awards programming.

6. Elton John & Billy Joel – Ottawa, ON

Representative Ticket Buyer: People who have already seen this concert once or more in the past 18 years it has been touring; Disney film soundtrack enthusiasts; cape-wearers; displaced New Yorkers; people who own an average of 22 Greatest Hits compilation albums of either artist.

7. Rock on the Range – Columbus, OH

Featured Artists: Motley Crue, Slipknot, Alice in Chains, Buckcherry

Representative Ticket Buyer: Disenfranchised youths; disenfranchised adults; people whose only familiarity with Buckcherry is that they scream the words to “Crazy Bitch” when they are drunk in bars.

8. Andrea Bocelli – New York City, NY

Representative Ticket Buyer: People hoping to get laid; people who enjoy stylized Italian music but do not attend the opera; Australians with glasses, ponytails.

9. Elton John & Billy Joel – Montreal, Quebec

Representative Ticket Buyer: People who also purchased tickets to this same tour when it was held in Ottawa, ON; people who partially sing Only the Good Die Young and hum the words they do not know; Frenchies. 

10. Dave Matthews Band – Hartford, CT

Representative Ticket Buyer: Males and females who attended college between 1994-2000; people who request “Ants Marching” at parties; people who are only tagging along with cooler people so those people will think they are also cool; conservative people who have only recently begun dating hippies; Ben & Jerry’s employees.

Link: Billboard Concert Grosses

One Comment
  1. June 27, 2014 8:09 am

    There are two cheap research types at the barracks to upgrade rangers.
    Riot should really do away with this system
    and just make everybody free. Why is it that the game WITH
    the Tribunal has more trolls than one without.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: