Down For The Count? Real Housewives of NYC’s LuAnn de Lesseps Battles Ethiopian Princess

A comedy of manners devolved into a tragedy of errors recently when a romantic getaway for Count Alex de Lesseps and his girlfriend, Ethiopian Princess Kemeria Abajobir Abajifar, soured due to her allegedly ghastly behavior.  The estranged husband of Real Housewives of New York City’s LuAnn de Lesseps spent 100,000 euros (about $140,000) to rent a villa in St. Tropez for the weekend to impress his paramour, who must not have been impressed the previous weekend when he presented her with a large foam finger on which was printed “#1 Stunna!”.  (The article points out that the Count is not swimming in money, which means he must not literally be swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck.)

Page Six “spies”–their words, not mine–didn’t get the juicy details, but Brown Tweed’s did.  Princess Abajifar’s bad behavior began when she was again unimpressed, this time by the villa’s ancient cobblestones which were not, as rumored, constructed from the scapulas of the less fortunate but in fact “cobbled” from actual stones.  Entering the foyer she stomped on several man-servants and covered their crumpled frames with a “gym teacher’s handkerchief”.  The situation deteriorated further at dinner, when The Princess was informed that no peasants were harmed or even inconvenienced harvesting the aubergine in her appetizer.  The breaking point, however, was when Abajifar became infuriated that the roast Black-hooded Coucal served was merely a critically endangered species, not the absolute last of its kind.  She pushed away from the table and farted disdainfully to express her displeasure at the unimpressiveness of it all.  De Lesseps could take no more and ordered the villa cleared.

Enter CILF LuAnn de Lesseps.  (The couple separated after Count Alex allegedly spent unseemly amounts of time with a woman he met in Europe, a continent teeming with European women.)  Although her rep denies they were co-habiting when the Princess incident occurred, Countess de Lesseps just happened to be in South France at the time.  And since we know Count de Lesseps values good manners, who better to salve his psychic wounds with their psychic energy than LuAnn, who, according to her bio on Bravo, has a “vast knowledge of manners from her experience as a Countess” and recently signed a book deal “on manner and etiqutte, called Class With The Countess“?  Although Count Alex denies reconciliation rumors, Brown Tweed smells love, topped with chocolate Bavarian mint truffles, in the air.