The Entertation Index: July 14

Fox, Megan — Continually finding her way back onto the Entertation Index, actress Megan Fox admitted this week that she can’t stand seeing herself on the big screen and “shot an entire glass of champagne” so she could watch Transformers 2. Big deal, Megan. I ate a pound and a half of crushed Tunisian choocheeboo leaves just to get through Drillbit Taylor. Call me when you can top that. 

Link: Fox: ‘I Got Drunk Watching Transformers 2’ (Digital Spy)

Escapes, Amazing G.I. Joe — Slate has compiled a great and comprehensive list of some of the most unbelievable and absurd escapes from the long mid-eighties run of the G.I. Joe cartoon. Rest assured that as harebrained as these animated moments may be, they don’t appear to hold a candle to the ridiculous dubiousness of the live-action blockbuster G.I. Joe, releasing later this summer. 

Link: “That Was Way Too Close!” (Slate)

Hut, The — Pizza Hut has announced that it will be dropping the word “Pizza” from its name and rebranding itself as “The Hut” to capitalize on shorter “texting lingo” and reinvent the restaurant as a hip hangout — thus also ensuring that any super-cool text messages reading “HEY! MEET ME @ THE HUT” will be responded to promptly with “NO THX FATTY.”

Link: Pizza Hut Makes a Name Change (MSN Money)

Ringwald, Molly — Congrats to the former teen icon, who gave birth to twins on Friday. You may see Molly Ringwald’s twins as you want to see them, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what I’ve found out is that in each twin is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question?

Link: Molly Ringwald Welcomes Twins (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)

Simpson, Jessica — People Magazine’s sources are telling them that Dallas Cowboy quarterback Tony Romo broke off his relationship with songstress Jessica Simpson on the night before her birthday. “Tony and Jessica live in two different worlds,” the source says. “He’s a high-powered NFL athlete and she’s a talentless hack.”

Link: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo Split (People)

Trends, Teen — A 15 year-old intern analyst at financial services juggernaut Morgan Stanley has recently helped to compile a report which states that today’s youth aren’t into traditional media like TV or even some web fads like Twitter. Because there’s no better representative of the youth of today than a 15 year-old intern at Morgan Stanley. Other conclusions Robson has discovered include “Girls are intimidated by me because I’m smart,” “I’m often picked last for softball in P.E. because the other guys are just jealous of me,” and “My mother is right — those jerks don’t deserve to have someone like me at their party.”

Link: Teens Not Into Twitter, TV, Radio or Newspapers, Reports Young Morgan Stanley Intern (readwriteweb.com)

Twilight — This isn’t news, but I just wanted to point out how insane people have become over this whole Twilight thing. Case in point: here’s a writer contacting Entertainment Weekly to find out how she can get a dress that Kristen Stewart wears in a leaked scene from a movie that doesn’t even have a full-length trailer yet. And yet the reader knows precisely what part of the movie it’s from. Wow.

Link: I Want That Dress From ‘New Moon!’ (Entertainment Weekly)

Warhol, Andy — An East Hampton art gallery has removed a rare Andy Warhol painting of Michael Jackson from an upcoming auction list due to enormous interest from private investors, with pre-sale estimates as high as ten million dollars. So, sorry Michael Jackson art enthusiasts. But if you’re still interested, perhaps you’d like to see this scribbling of Mayor McCheese I did in the margin of a brochure for pet insurance? Hmm? I’m sure we could cut a deal.

Link: Warhol’s Jackson Portrait Dropped From NY Auction (Yahoo! News)