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I Saw The Ugly Truth

July 29, 2009

We left my girlfriend’s apartment at approximately 6:50 p.m. for the 15-minute drive to the Richmond Centre. Because concessions prices have risen noticeably, we wanted to have enough time to stop at the Circle K on the by-pass across from the theater. There we bought a big bag of plain M&M’s, a regular-size bag of Reese’s Pieces, and a drink to share. The total cost was about $4.50, less than half what the theater would have charged for a similar purchase. We put the items in her purse and joked about the “contraband” we were about to smuggle into the theater.

When we arrived, I noticed immediately that, for a new theater, the Richmond Centre features a dated and inconvenient ticket counter. The line forms inside the theater immediately behind the people buying tickets, and the spacing is such that those who have just bought their tickets must walk back through the line behind them to get to the lobby.

After navigating through the crowded counter area, we handed our tickets to the teenaged usher, who directed us to turn right and go to the last theater on our left. We found seats two thirds of the way up, just to the right of center aisle. They were nice, stadium-style seats with adjustable arms and reclining backs. Nothing compared to the comfort of a snuggler recliner at home with snacks, but hey, I should not complain, but the theater was cold so now I’m irritable.

Four or five previews played before The Ugly Truth began. They included The Stepfather, which looked like a standard psychological thriller based on the “average-looking guy with an unknown past isn’t as normal as he seems” premise, and Shutter Island, which sparked my anticipation because of the involvement of Dennis Lehane, Martin Scorsese, and yet another unintentionally funny Leonardo DiCaprio accent.

The Ugly Truth began playing at about 7:30 p.m. and lasted a little over 90 minutes. It featured settings, music, Gerard Butler’s smirk, and some approximation of characters, dialogue, and plot. There were lots of sex jokes involving Jell-O wrestling, vibrating underwear, and Katherine Heigl repeating the word “cock.”

On our way back to the car, we heard a guy on his mobile phone saying he’d just seen the funniest movie he’s seen in a long time. We knew immediately that he was talking about The Hangover, which had ended at the same time as The Ugly Truth. We felt a twinge of regret for our choice.

We got home at about 9:30. It was a fine evening—I had great company, saw the Shutter Island trailer for the first time, and ended up with half a bag of leftover M&M’s to take to work.

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