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The Entertation Index: August 13

August 13, 2009

Cowell, Simon — For those of you wondering if Paula Abdul is truly integral to American Idol, I present to you the following facts. Paula Abdul has had numerous number one singles and two number one albums, plus grammy awards and is considered one of the top choreographers in the field. Simon Cowell used to dress up like a dog to promote a remix album of dog barks set to music. Choose Wisely.

Link: Simon Cowell’s Awful Wonderdog Song Defies Description (TV Squad)

Douglas, Cameron — The girlfriend of crystal meth trafficker Cameron Douglas (son of Michael Douglas), was arrested after she reportedly tried to smuggle heroin to him in prison by disguising it inside an electric toothbrush. Prison guards were immediately tipped off to to the nefarious goings-on as it’s common knowledge that no one who regularly uses heroin also regularly uses a toothbrush.

Link: Heroin Toothbrush Bust for Douglas’ Gal Pal (Popeater

Garfield Minus Garfield — It’s been around some time, but just for fun today, check out the meta-fun at Garfield Minus Garfield, which takes the beloved strip and transforms it into sad, deluded  Jon Arbuckle’s losing fight against crushing loneliness. 

Link: Garfield Minus Garfield (official site)

Jay-Z — The entrepreneur and rapper has kindled a growing relationship with Queen Oprah, and is expected to be featured extensively in an upcoming issue of the illustrious O! Magazine. This means you can look forward to your mother, in the very near future, informing you that “You’re crazy, you think your little rhymes can play with me? I’m from Marcy, I’m varsity, chump, you’re J.V.” 

Link: Oprah on Jay-Z: “I Love Him.” (AllHipHop)

Jolie, Angelina — Artist Daniel Edwards, who in the past has brought us such marvelous works of art as Britney Spears giving birth, Oprah and some dogs, and Nadya Suleman in hot pink rubber, is prepared to unveil his latest masterpiece, a statue of Angelina Jolie breastfeeding, in an Oklahoma City art gallery. Because if there’s one thing Oklahomans love, it’s Angelina Jolie — almost as much as they love breastfeeding, art, and breastfeeding art. Edwards next work is expected to be entitled “Morgan Fairchild Gets a Papsmear,” which he is certain will play well in Tucson, Arizona. 

Link: Angelina Jolie Breastfeeding Statue Coming to Oklahoma City (Hollywood Life)

Tatum, Channing — Surprising no one, meathead/model/actor/G.I. Joe star Channing Tatum has been revealed to be a former stripper before joining the Hollywood “It Crowd.” Good thing Us Magazine is on the case, reporting that Tatum’s stripper name was “Chan Crawford” — but, depending upon which part of his act you ask about, was known to his clients by a range of G.I. Joe monikers, from “Bazooka” to “Short-Fuze.”

Link: Channing Tatum’s Secret Stripper Past: (Us Magazine)

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