The Entertation Index: September 3

Art Critics, Pigeons As – Japanese research psychologist Shigeru Watanabe has trained pigeons to identify “quality” paintings.  It is thought that some pigeons pooped on a couple Jackson Pollocks, but Watanabe was unable to tell.  All the birds, however, crapped on Thomas Kincaid paintings.

Link: Pigeons Pick Out “Good” Art (Gawker)

Lohan, Lindsay – Playboy has reportedly offered LiLo £550,000 (almost $900,000) to pose nude.  Terrible strategy, Playboy.  After Labor Pains bombs and Lohan’s bills start piling up, she would have paid you to stay in the spotlight.

Link: Lohan in Playboy? (The Sun)

McCarthy, Jenny – In other Playboy news, former Playmate Jenny McCarthy on The Today Show finally revealed her weight, a secret more heavily guarded than nuclear launch codes: she’s 5’6”, 125 pounds.  Perhaps there is something I don’t understand, but this couldn’t have been that big a deal, given how much she revealed in the magazine and at Hef’s parties.

Link: Jenny McCarthy Reveals Weight (Huffington Post)

Partridge, Audrina – The Hills’ co-star, who very recently left the show, is looking for her new project, The Audrina Show, to keep up with the Kardashians’.  Filming aimless “stars” and their siblings in unrivaled mundanity and stunning vapidity shouldn’t be difficult, Audrina, so best of luck.  For this, you probably won’t need it.

Link: New Partridge Family? (New York Post)

Photos, Family – So you don’t like showing a new boyfriend/girlfriend your embarrassing family photos, but you sure like seeing other people’s.  Don’t act like you don’t have a few of these.

Link: Awkward Family Photos

Rambo – Sylvester Stallone will reprise his role as John Rambo in Rambo V, slated to start production in 2010.  After fighting small town police, rogue Vietnamese soldiers, Soviets in Afghanistan, and the Burmese military, Rambo will take on human traffickers and drug lords near the Mexican-U.S. border.  Depending on the success of that movie and the status of Rambo’s joint replacements, Rambo VI will see him delivering swift and brutal justice to traffic scofflaws and telemarketers.

Link: Rambo V For Real (Sky News)