Things That I Could Write About But Won’t…

Happy Saturday, lads and lassies!  Thanks for taking a small slice of time out of football or shopping or whatever it is you do on the weekend to spend a moment with yours truly.  It’s been a surreal last couple of days for me, I’m afraid.  Friday I decided to venture out from Casa de Brown Tweed for my monthly visit with my wife and kids.  I arrived home to find out that my internet service was seriously, like, gone.  Nowhere to be found.

This was a traumatic experience, but a cleansing one.  Without the interwebs to cloud my mind, I was able to go into a zen-like trance through which I cleared the dust and muck out of my soul.  My most insightful insight?  That much of what’s happened this week in music is not really worth writing about.

That’s not to say there hasn’t been music news, lawd there’s been a ton.  This has been one of the busiest music weeks I’ve seen this summer.  But none of the hullaballoo was very interesting to me.  I know, I know, that just proves how weird and out of touch I am, but really…were any of you waiting on the edge of your seat to find out where what passes for Guns N’ Roses is going to tour next? I didn’t think so.

Ok, I admit the whole Ellen on American Idol thing is interesting, but Lloyd said all there is to say about that one.  Except for the fact that Ellen also got sued this week for massive copyright infringement.  That’s a good little nugget there.

But for every truly intriguing story, there were others that were about as noteworthy as Seth Rogen’s flatulence.  Like the fact that Weezer released the cover art for their new album this week.  Since when did that become newsworthy?  Same for the fact that scientists named a spider after David Bowie. Yawn.

I have to admit that the blowup over Kurt Cobain’s likeness being used in the new Guitar Hero was amusing, until it became the latest version of Celebrity Deathmatch with Courtney Love, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic on one side and the game’s creator, Activision, on the other.  Then it just became too reality show-ish.  This whole brouhaha over Cobain can’t overshadow what is (to me, at least) the most fascinating Courtney Love-related tidbit of the week:  Spin.com’s discovery of a Courtney Love Twitter Translator!

Neat-O:  One of Jack White’s 100 bands gets nominated for a Country Music Association award.  Not neat at all:  Nine Inch Nails played their Final.  Show.  Ever. Even less neat:  Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel announce their engagement. (Downright weird:  The fact that I found that Gibbard nugget on a website called absolutepunk.net)

Worthy of comment, but not really news:  Jay-Z releases the long-awaited The Blueprint 3. I ran across this story on the Wall Street Journal’s website, where I know we all go for the latest news in hip-hop.  The Jay-Z news I’m more interested in this week is the revelation that Jay and Will Smith are teaming up to save the floundering Broadway Fela Kuti bio-play.

Most significant news of the week?  Obviously the release of the newly remastered Beatles catalog and Rock Band: The Beatles is absolutely huge.  Not sure if it’s all that fascinating anymore given the band’s recent media saturation, but it certainly is tremendous for the music-loving world.  Not quite as significant?  Finding out this week on VH1 that Lil Wayne is a rapper.

That about covers it kids.  Now I’m returning to my trance so I can figure out how the music world will survive now that Phil Collins can’t drum anymore.  This could mean the end of the modern-era Genesis!  Um, is that really such a bad thing?