The Entertation Index: September 17

Gosselin, Kate – In perhaps the most important news of all time, reality TV star Kate Gosselin…changed her hairstyle.  Stylists on The View altered it from “asymmetric-spiky” to “asymmetric-wavy.”  World leaders have all weighed in, with mixed reactions.  President Obama urged restraint in choosing another hairstyle as the world economy is still too fragile to absorb another shake-up of this magnitude.

Link: Gosselin Changes Hairstyle (Yahoo)

Helsing, Van – You’ve been waiting for it, now you’ve got it: Van Helsing is being released on Blu-Ray this week.  Watch Hugh Jackman suck and hear Kate Beckinsdale’s terrible accent in amazing resolution!  Don’t worry, TBTS will let you know when Kate & Leopold and The Lakehouse make their hi-res debut.

Link: Suckage on Blu-Ray (Movie Web)

High Fashion, Snuggie As – OK, maybe I’m just on a different page, but the much-maligned and much-celebrated Snuggie and Snuggie for Dogs were the featured items in a recent Fashion Week runway show.  Next, the ShamWow as scarf and headwear.

Link: Snuggie Fashion (Gothamist)

Izzard, Eddie – The British comedian just finished an amazing feat for charity: he ran 43 marathons in 51 days.  We applaud you, Eddie, but beware the fate of the fit comedian (Joe Piscopo, Carrot Top, Dane  Cook, etc.).  Good deeds are great and all, but making me laugh is way more important.

Link: Izzard Runs Marathons (Sky)

Montag, Heidi – The Hills star received a surprise from husband Spencer Pratt for her 23^rd birthday: a nine-week old maltipoo (maltese-poodle mix) named Dolly.  Like her parents, the dog has a pretentious pedigree, will have faux-hawked hair with frosted tips, and will poop in the corner at upscale parties.  However, Dolly’s first album, composed of ten tracks of high-pitched barking and yelping, is expected to be better-received than Heidi’s.

Link: Heidi Gets Puppy (PeoplePets)

Piven, Jeremy – The Entourage actor has issued the Public Theater a cease-and-desist letter over his portrayal in “The Piven Monologues,” a sardonic look at the actor’s withdrawal from a Broadway show due to mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi.  This whole fish-ingesting episode has dragged out long enough.  Can’t they just hug it out, bitch?

Link: Piven: Cease and Desist (New York Post)

West, Kanye – After a couple days of withering criticism, Kanye West finally called Taylor Swift to apologize, after she mentioned on The View that he hadn’t yet.  As Tomlin pointed out Tuesday, this behavior should surprise no one: last year at Fulton County Baptist Church’s Bingomania, when O-74 won the “Big X” game and the winner shouted “Bingo!”, West snatched the microphone and shouted, “O-74, I’m really happy for you, but O-68 is one of the best numbers of all time!”  West then said that “Big X” was crap and “Postage Stamp” was one of the greatest games of all time, and stomped off the stage.

Link: Kanye Outburst (YouTube)