The Entertation Index: October 15

Fox, Megan – There was really no interesting, or uninteresting, news about Megan Fox today?  Wow.

Link: The entire web

Gaga, Lady – Now this is just weird.  No Lady Gaga “news” today either?

Link: Everywhere

Gosselin, Jon – Whew!  Fox and Gaga are doing nothing to keep this Entertation Index going, so Gosselin had to step up.  A court has ordered him to return $180,000 to a joint account; he says Kate is hiding the money and that he withdrew only $22,000.  As for the other $158,000, he thought for a moment then remembered that at one of the Vegas clubs he has been frequenting he got super-drunk and ordered two bottles of Grey Goose.

Link: Gosselin: Big Spender? (Seattle Post Intelligencer)

Leaders, World – This picture is just fantastic, and the road trip caption can’t be beat: Libyan leader Moammar Gaddafi (the world leader whose name has the greatest number of different crossword-accepted spellings) and Venezuelan head-of-state Hugo Chavez get ready to cruise from the Northwest Territories to the Falklands, dropping science on capitalist Zionist imperialists on the way.  Somewhere near Dallas, while sparking the owl, they run into a sorority initiation—with sexy results!

Link: Hugo and Moammar Go to State-Owned Food Dispensary (Jalopnik)

Morgan, Tracy – The SNL alum’s new autobiography I Am The New Black illuminates the tense relationship between Morgan and castmates Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan: “I could remember those two, especially those two people, treating me like the invisible guy. Now look where they at. Cheri Oteri, she can’t even get arrested…That’s what happened to me over there. They never treated me well,” he says. “I never cared for them either. F— ’em.”  Upon hearing this, Oteri immediately punched a nun and set a shaved-ice stand on fire, but was not arrested because the nun was an escaped convict in disguise and the shaved-ice stand was a secret meth lab.  Kattan did as he was told and f*cked himself.

Link: Morgan’s Autobiography (Huffington Post)

Simon, Carly – The prolific singer/songwriter has sued Starbucks for leaving its music label, saying this forced her onto a jazz label that hasn’t done enough to market her new album.  Starbucks released a statement saying “Starbucks and StarCon have tried to work with Ms. Simon and her representatives to resolve her concerns…Starbucks believes that StarCon more than fulfilled its obligations to Ms. Simon’s album, This Kind of Love…The album was carried at Starbucks for an additional promotional period in two key markets. Unfortunately, sales continued to lag as the title received tepid response from music consumers.”  It reportedly continued, “besides, Michael McDonald pretty much has the sappy, safe, completely non-offensive adult contemporary market cornered.”

Link: Simon Sues (EW)

Trump, Donald – As Tomlin pointed out yesterday, Trump has raised the ire of actress Tilda Swinton, who signed a petition opposing his proposed Scottish golf course.  Adding to Trump’s legal woes, his hair filed suit, claiming that it hadn’t moved in so long it developed bed sores.

Link: Trump’s Course (Examiner)

Zolciak, Kim – Another photo poll!  The “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star wore a revealing dress to the 2009 Fox Reality Channels Really Awards, and Huffington Post wants to know what you think about the look: “Love It or Leave It?”  Um, HuffPo, isn’t the goal to love it and leave it?

Link: Zolciak’s Dress: (Huffington Post)