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Adam Lambert Wins Big at the American Falling, Undulating, and Controversial Kissing Awards

November 23, 2009

For those who missed last night’s broadcast of the American Falling, Undulating, and Controversial Kissing Awards, here’s your official AFUCKA roundup:

Adam Lambert swept ’em. He fell big-time, he undulated non-stop, and he kissed a guy, which is already causing a whole mess of controversy.

In so doing, the American Idol alum made sure that Falling, Undulating, and Controversial Kissing were once again the primary focus of the annual award ceremony devoted to those activities. You could say that Lambert really put the FUCK into this year’s AFUCKAs. Or, if you’re feeling especially whimsical, “He totally FUCKed it up out there!”

Lambert’s FUCKing during last night’s watershed event featured various nods to sadomasochism and multiple thrusts of his crotch into the faces of his back-up dancers. Today’s media coverage of all the FUCKing makes sense because Lambert so vividly reminded us that we were watching the American Falling, Undulating, and Controversial Kissing Awards—not the Oscars, Emmys, or the American Music Awards.

If I may interject with my opinion here, for far too long, music and other diversions have distracted performers, viewers, and commentators from what the AFUCKAs are intended to emphasize. I think it only makes sense that focusing on music should be left to the American Music Awards, rather than shows like the AFUCKAs.

After the AMAs air (I forget when they’re scheduled for this year), that’s when the focus of the next day’s media coverage and wrap-ups should be on all the artistically innovative and emotionally revelatory music that received the year’s top honors. Clearly, Lambert agrees, and so do all the media commentators who can’t stop talking about all the FUCKing today.

So kudos to Adam Lambert for helping to restore that bright dividing line between highlighting the best FUCK-related performances and honoring the best music of the year. I’m grateful to him for seeing so clearly and acting so forcefully on the knowledge that his AFUCKA performance should emphasize what he does best and leave the music for the appropriate time, place, and audience.

And soon, after the media talk incessantly about Lambert’s FUCKing for a few more days, we can all start looking forward to lots and lots of really enthusiastic and insightful coverage of all the great music that will be featured during and after the annual American Music Awards telecast.

Can somebody remind me when that’s happening this year?

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