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I Am Only Claiming to be Semi/Post-Ironically Thankful About the Following Things in Our Current Era of Pop Culture

November 27, 2009

I am thankful for so many things.

I am thankful that Twilight: New Moon opened this weekend, so I don’t have to hear any more about Taylor Lautner and his workout regime. I am thankful that Kristen Stewart is off the radar for a few more months, at least until the Joan Jett movie comes out, which I feel has been completely miscast by choosing Kristen Stewart in the role of Joan Jett and Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie, which is just ridiculous. I am thankful that zombies have kept it classy and don’t act all prissy like vampires these days. I am thankful that mummies haven’t raised a stink, and are patiently awaiting their moment in the spotlight.

I am thankful that the Balloon Boy’s dad is being prosecuted, even though he’ll still probably get some sort of the television exposure he seeks at some point. I am thankful that all those people lost all that weight on NBC’s big, giant Subway commercial. I am thankful that VH1 finished up the Real Chance of Love second season, and that Chance finally found love.

I am thankful for Victoria’s Secret model Marisa Miller and her $3 million diamond Victoria’s Secret bra. And I am thankful for the massive advertising campaign launched by Victoria’s Secret which has placed pictures of Marisa Miller in a bra everywhere I look.

I am thankful that even in 2009, with all the technology we have, that the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade still is the most flagrant display of mass lip synching in the world, and that everyone on the broadcast just pretends not to notice.

I am thankful for Weezer’s new album Raditude, and its glorious shamelessness, its perfect joke being that it refuses to wink and give itself away. I am thankful that the Pixies are touring and playing nothing but Doolittle, which is a rare flawless album. I am thankful that working bar bands like The Hold Steady have a place in our musical landscape, with Craig Finn hoarsely growling great lyrics about romantic poets and beer.

I am thankful that no one knows that I secretly really like the Lady Gaga song “Paparazzi,” and no one ever will. Oh, wait. Damn.

Most of all, however, I am thankful that you, and people like you, are reading what we do here at TBTS. It’s our labor of love, and we’ll continue to do our best to deliver pop culture news in new ways, and we hope you’ll continue to spread the word. Because I am also thankful to have the smartest, most clever colleagues I know writing here. Happy Thanksgiving, folks. Be thankful this weekend, and we’ll get back to more silliness first thing Monday morn. Don’t you worry.

One Comment
  1. November 28, 2009 12:24 pm

    I fail to detect the least hint of irony in your thankfulness for Marisa Miller’s image being everywhere.

    Also, I have to agree with you about Doolittle.

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