I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For: This Week’s Best Google Search Hits

Each week,  TBTS stats show the precise Google search terms by which many of our readers found our site. And each week, there are a handful of these search terms worth sharing with the world. Below are some of the more eclectic Google search terms to yield The Brown Tweed Society as a result for the week of November 29-December 6 .

“the soup hefner joke”

Okay, okay. Fine. Hugh Hefner flags down a waiter. “Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?” he asks. The waiter responds “looks like the backstroke.” Try the veal. Tip your waitress.

“photos of lady gaga as a child”

At least her nudity was societally acceptable then.

“Hannah Montana wearing beige jeans”

I can only assume this came from last week’s groundbreaking article “An Assessment of Hannah Montana’s Jeans Choices,” in which it was decided that beige was, indeed, not her color.

“rubber band facial piercing”

I think you’re looking for www.CaptainLouAlbanoEnthusiasts.com. Sorry we couldn’t help more.

“how to put a snuggie on a chihuahua”

I can only assume, since this reader assuredly did not find the information he or she sought on The Brown Tweed Society, that this all ended badly.

“shia lebouf megan fox beautiful unicorn”

I’ll take “things no one will remember existed in ten years” for $200, Alex.

“plumbing double entendre”

1.) I’m gonna have to lay some pipe. 2.) This snake’s gonna go deep and foam. 3.) Smells like a disposal down there. I should have stopped at two.

“oklahoma is shitty”

You said it. Not us.

“jon gosselin body language specialist”

I’ll take “jobs nobody wants” for $200, Alex.

“missoula hobos”

I think we’ve found our talent pool for jon gosselin body language specialists.

“why were noses cut off statues?”

Oh, I love this joke. The Salvador Dali Joke Book was one of my favorites growing up. The answer is “to sublimate your most sacred mistakes.” That shit’s classic. 

“is lamar odom blind?”

We ask ourselves this every single day of our lives. Every single day.