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A TBTS Good Idea™: The Iggy Pop Rock Scholarship

December 17, 2009

With the real unemployment rate in Detroit at a staggering 45%, it’s clear that the Motor City needs a boost. It needs a shot of adrenaline strong enough to make the residents not-quite-literally-but-almost bite through nails and chew glass.

In short, the city could stand to be infused with the energy of one of its native sons who recently did the city proud—Iggy Pop. Iggy and the Stooges were just inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, along with ABBA, The Hollies, Genesis, and Jimmy Cliff (weirdest induction class ever).

My latest TBTS Good Idea™ is for Iggy to gather up as much money as he can, perhaps by selling plasma or hiring himself out to pedal a bike furiously enough to generate electricity, and start the Iggy Pop Rock Scholarship at Detroit’s Wayne State University. It’ll probably take about $1 million to start an endowment sufficient to produce a few annual full-tuition scholarships. Whatever amount Iggy can’t come up with himself (about $999,750 by my estimation), he can raise from his core group of rabid fans. They’ll surely want to honor their hero’s recent induction into the R & R Hall of Fame.

Reliable comedic force and upcoming Oscar co-host Alec Baldwin just made a similar donation to establish a drama scholarship at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts. It’s a laudable gesture, to be sure, one that will reward NYU drama students who demonstrate “an unwavering work ethic, development of leadership skills, willingness to collaborate, the ability to tolerate risk, and the capacity to work with constructive criticism,” according to the terms of the endowed fund agreement.

Now, I’m all for philanthropists investing in the future through higher education, but jeez, how many more actors does New York need? About the only philanthropic gesture that would meet less of a pressing need than Baldwin’s would be setting up a Total Prick Scholarship at a southern university whose name rhymes with Duke. [I’m referring of course to Fluke University, a tiny liberal arts college in Nottarealtown, Georgia. I’m only joshin’ ya, Fluke fans.]

But an Iggy Pop Rock Scholarship at Wayne State University would be the best of both philanthropic worlds—investing in both the present AND future of Detroit. Only with Iggy’s inspiration and financial backing could today’s Wayne State students become the tireless, speed-fueled, rock and roll dynamos that Detroit so desperately needs.

To help get the ball rolling, I’ve even drafted the key portion of the fund agreement for the endowed scholarship:

“The Iggy Pop Rock Scholarship will be awarded annually to Wayne State University students who are not The Idiot, who have both Raw Power and a Lust for Life, who feel compelled to be the driver in life rather than merely The Passenger, and who possess a charisma that makes other students look at them and say, ‘Oh, I Wanna Be Your Dog.’”

Time to pony up, Iggy. Your city is counting on you.

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8 Comments
  1. Christopher Porter permalink
    December 17, 2009 4:18 pm

    And the recipient will be known as the “Gimme Danger Little Stranger Scholar.”

  2. Jay St. Orts permalink
    December 17, 2009 6:14 pm

    Fuck. Yes. Two points and a bloodied, shirtless gold star.

    Can we work “Shake Appeal” and “Search and Destroy” in there somewheres?

  3. December 17, 2009 6:15 pm

    Actually, I really, really like the idea of rockers establishing scholarship funds.

    Perhaps he should call on the other half of the Bewlay Brothers for this. (No, I won’t explain. Look it up.)

  4. December 17, 2009 10:53 pm

    I went to Transy on a Pop Rock scholarship. I didn’t have to pay for a single bag of pop rocks the whole time I was there. It was awesome.

    • March 26, 2014 3:51 am

      It seems when the times are tough, it’s “Harper’s Government”, and when the times are good, it’s “Canada’s Government”.This is a little trick I have noeitcd in the MSM. When they think they are onto something bad it is attributed to Harper’s government, but it is Government of Canada when they finally report something good happening.

Trackbacks

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