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When Porn Stars Divorce: Attempting To Write An Article Without Double Entendres

December 23, 2009

I would like to make clear at the outset that I am not making light of divorce, which can be messy and traumatic.  Some of our readers probably have divorced parents or are divorced themselves, which makes Christmas a season of constant driving.  However, in dealing with the somewhat high profile divorce of porn stars Tera Patrick and Evan Seinfeld, it is impossible to craft a story without including double entendres, intentional or not.

Take a NY Post’s story on the subject.  Rather than go in depth (see, right there), the article focuses on the salacious surface details.  The headline “Porn wife just ‘didn’t like sex’” trivializes the matter and right up front assigns blame to Ms. Patrick.  An article a few days before gives her side, but entirely on snippets from her book Sinner Takes All rather than ask new questions.  Patrick probably doesn’t mind her book receiving publicity, but usually such blurbs are accompanied by interviews.  Could it be that, as Seinfeld claims, this is just to get press to help Patrick “break into the mainstream”?  If so, maybe it would be more acceptable to treat such a divorce with mostly late show jokes and innuendo.  It appears, though, that since the two have made titles like Teradise Island: Anal Fever and American MILF, their divorce somehow becomes more legitimate grist for the tabloid and Late Show mill.  The way the NY Post quotes Seinfeld, it seems they’ve taken the bait: “the way she’s been handling things,” “this feels like a cheap shot,” “[o]ur marriage had a lot of holes in it.”  Of course there will be back-and-forth between the two parties in an even remotely high-profile divorce.  Granted, by putting out a book on the matter, it could be argued that Patrick opens herself up to such criticisms.  In the end, though, certainly we—and they—should be able to argue the subject on its merits and not resort to such easy, tawdry double entendres, right?

There are many married couples where both spouses work professionally in the adult film industry.  It must be quite hard to separate work from marriage, and to do at home (with real feeling, at least) what you do on the job all day.  Patrick has said that almost every married couple in porn splits up; she would know better than most.  Given the differing paths that she and Seinfeld seemed to be taking, then, they probably should have seen it coming.

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7 Comments
  1. December 24, 2009 12:24 am

    I didn’t realize that porn stars ever got married. I thought they just had little flings with their friend’s hot wives, friend’s hot sisters, hot sister’s friends hot moms and hot bosses.

  2. December 24, 2009 12:46 am

    So.

    This porn star walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey, hot stuff, gimme a double entendre.”

    So he gave it to her.

  3. Jay St. Orts permalink
    December 24, 2009 10:36 am

    The Shorr shoots…and scores!

  4. December 24, 2009 5:33 pm

    Jay: Assuming you weren’t referring to Matt, thanks. Also, it’s about time I see some hockey chatter on this otherwise fantastic website! Foster Hewitt would be so proud!

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