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The Entertation Index: January 20

January 20, 2010

Aniston, Jennifer — While we normally love to make fun of Jennifer Aniston and her ridiculous non-gossip around here, it’s really just absurd that the New York Times ran a short piece including Aniston in a trio of celebrities who are gaining weight. Hey… Jennifer Aniston. Listen girlfriend. You look good, alright? Don’t you listen to the New York Times. That bitch is just jealous. You work it out girl. Go on now. That’s right.

Link: A Rounder Golden Globes (New York Times)

Avatar — UK’s The Sun reports that some hard-core fans of James Cameron’s Avatar are considering giving their to-be-born babies names based on the film’s Na’vi language. Also things these people are fans of? Not ever having grandchildren.

Link: Boom in Avatar Names for Kiddies (The Sun)

Hargitay, Mariska — With the late night war raging, The Law & Order: SVU star has come out against Jay Leno as well, claiming that his low ratings hurt her courtroom procedural. Boo hoo. I’m poor Mariska Hargitay. I have low ratings. Boo hoo — what? Ice-T’s upset too? We’ll see what we can do, sir. Right away, sir.

Link: Mariska Hargitay Blames NBC and Jay Leno Show for Lower SVU Ratings (Seattle P-I)

Perry, Katy — The pop star, currently engaged to comic Russell Brand, tells Contactmusic that their relationship began when Perry, hoping to catch his eye, threw a water bottle at Brand’s head. Suddenly, people everywhere who have dreamed of throwing a bottle directly at Russell Brand’s head are breathing a sigh of relief at the weird, Britishy-marriagey path their lives may have taken had they acted on those very same impulses.

Link: Perry thanks Water Bottle for Brand Union (Contactmusic)

Poe, Edgar Allen — The “Poe Toaster,” an infamous, black-clad figure who has annually shown up to the Baltimore grave of Edgar Allen Poe to toast the writer with cognac and leave three red roses before slipping back into the night, was nowhere to be found yesterday. It was the first time the figure has not appeared on this date since Poe’s death, only confirming my long-time speculation that the hooded figure was in fact Karl Malden, who died last July. You guys just wouldn’t listen to me, would you?

Link: “Poe Toaster” Is a No-Show (NY Times)

World, Disney — An unknown, $1 billion-plus project is said to be secretly going on at Disney which will, in part, install radio-frequency microchips somewhere on all guests so that they can be tracked throughout the resorts and parks. Additionally the project will — hey! You can’t do that on the Jungle Cruise! We can totally see that! Security!

Link: Disney Quietly Working on $1 Billion-plus “Next Generation” Technology Project (Orlando Sentinel)

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