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The Entertation Index: January 26

January 26, 2010

Affleck, Ben – The Good Will Hunting star is unemployed, unemployable, and moving back in with his parents.  A long, hard fall for People’s former Sexiest Man Ali….what?  You mean that’s the description of a character he’s playing in The Company Men?  I just thought since he hadn’t done shit since Smokin’ Aces

Link: Affleck Down and Out (IFC)

Aniston, Jennifer – The Friends actress has given $500,000 to Doctors Without Borders to aid their efforts in Haiti.  Since this is a generous, selfless, and heartfelt gesture, expect tabloids to report on her newest “failed” relationship and totally embarrassing weight “gain!”

Link: Aniston Helps Haiti (People)

Avatar – James Cameron’s 3-D epic just passed The Dark Knight to become the second highest-grossing movie in history.  Along with Titanic, this gives Cameron the two most financially successful films ever: one with blue people and one which blew, people.

Link: Avatar Soars (EW)

Out, Passing – So you wrote “Balls” on someone’s forehead after he downed a pint of Peach Schnapps.  Stuff it.  Check out the ingenuity, the audacity, the sheer balls of some of these pass-out shenanigans.  Please submit your own.

Link: Passing Out (Huffington Post)

Pitt ,Brad and Jolie, Angelina – According to new “reports” (which are the same as the old reports),the power couple is close to splitting up for good.  However, “sources” close to the two say everything is fine.  This is like when your friend at work tells you that putting margarine on an infected scratch will heal it in, like, two days.  Then when you ask your doctor, who of course says that’s crap, you say defiantly, “Well, that’s what I heard.  I’m just sayin’.”

Link: Jolie-Pitt Split? (San Francisco Chronicle)

Shore, Jersey – The 501 Lounge in Montclair, NJ, hosted a party featuring the cast of Jersey Shore.  The crowd neared 2000 for the 800-capacity club, and holy crap! an adjacent street had to be shut down and a bunch of fights broke out.  What the hell did they think was going to happen at a Jersey Shore party?  Spontaneous recitals of Yeats and a cognac-off?

Link: Jersey Shore Gets Tore (NY Times)

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2 Comments
  1. March 25, 2014 6:43 pm

    I came to this site to try to find out what they were calling the tee in the toelit that they bleeped out. I was surprised and happy to find such smart writing in these recaps. Welcome to my bookmarks.

  2. April 8, 2014 9:56 am

    Thanks for introducing a little rationality into this debate.

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