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The Entertation Index: February 5

February 5, 2010

Biel, Jessica — The actress, promoting the star-studded money magnet Valentine’s Day, spoke to Jay Leno about her recent climb of Japan’s Mt. Kilimanjaro and revealed that when nature calls at 19,230 feet, you just “find a rock and go.” If you’re keeping count, America, this puts the reasons behind global warming and the melting of the ice caps at 57% an increase of greenhouse gases, 33% the effect of CFCs on the depleting ozone layer, 9.99% earth’s growing population and .0001% Jessica Biel pee.

Link: Jessica Biel Eats Crickets on Leno (Huffington Post)

Brandy — The pop singer has just inked a deal with music channel VH1 to star in Brandy and Ray J: A Family Business, a reality show based on the daily lives of the singer and her brother. The crux of each episode, assumedly, will be Brandy’s ongoing attempts to lead a respectable life as a musician, songwriter and mother while her zany brother keeps trotting dirty tramps through the house as part of his own reality television show. No word yet whether rocker Bret Michaels will play the wacky next door neighbor.

Link: VH1 Signs Brandy, Ray J (Variety)

Kelly, R. — Hip Hop virtuoso R. Kelly released a short video on Twitter yesterday that announced he has fifteen more chapters of his musical/literary masterpiece  Trapped in the Closet ready to go, — but he claims that he “needs to feel that it’s what we want,” and asks the public to let him know. That’s a huge affirmative, R. Kelly. Here’s the Twitter video, but I highly recommend that as you sit there at work, staring out the window this Friday, you consider giving in to the episodes of Trapped in the Closet I have linked below. It’s like crack. Terrible, terrible, awesome hip hop soap opera crack. I dare you to stop at just one.

Link: Trapped in the Closet (IFC)

Wahoo, The Friday — Like The Big Bang Theory but can’t stand all those meddlesome laugh track moments that show you when to laugh? Be glad those are there, because the following YouTube video illustrates just how creepy and awkward things would be for everyone if it weren’t.

Link: The Big Bang Theory Minus Laughter (YouTube)

White, Jack — White has announced an innovative new idea for his Nashville-based label Third Man Records, which includes the opportunity for bands to visit Third Man and perform a live concert, have the live recording made available for fans, and record an album in the Third Man studios during their visit. On one hand, this seems to be a great idea for struggling or up-and-coming bands to both find exposure and press their first albums — but on the other hand, it’s just phase three of Jack White’s nefarious plan to become a part of every band in America.

Link: Jack White’s Third Man Records Starts Live-Show Vinyl Series (Paste)

Winger, Kip — Frontman Kip Winger, of the late 80’s hair band Winger, went underground when the grunge era hit. During that time, he’s been studying classical music for the past 17 years. The result? A symphonic creation called “Ghosts,” which will appear, cheorographed, on stage at the San Francisco Ballet next Tuesday. The plot revolves around a hungry girl named Madalaine who, despite only being seventeen, is hangin’ on to a poison angel who takes her higher and higher. When she realizes she’s headed for a heartbreak, and that she’s in a state of emergency, she decides it’s time to surrender and moves on with her life — without the night.

Link: “Ghosts” Resurrects Kip Winger’s Career (San Francisco Chronicle)

Work, Men at — Aussie band Men At Work owes years of royalties after an Australian court has ruled that they stole a flute melody from a famous campfire song for use in their early 80’s hit “Down Under.” Those of you concerned can have your first good night of sleep in thirty years. You know, they say these types of news stories happen in threes — we can only hope Laura Branigan’s “Gloria” and Quarterflash’s “Harden My Heart” aren’t the next to fall.

Link: Men at Work Guilty of Ripping Off “Land DownUnder” Melody (Huffington Post)

  1. Jay St. Orts permalink
    February 5, 2010 9:38 am

    If I had any balls (which I do not), I would try to do a record at Third Man.

  2. February 5, 2010 12:43 pm

    After reading the article, I am completely dumbfounded at the idea that Kip Winger might have had real talent in there besides the ability to grow some formidable stubble.

    Also, *fifteen more chapters* of Trapped in the Closet? That thing is apparently bigger and harder to leave than the one that leads to Narnia.

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