The Entertation Index: February 19

Gaga, Lady – Singer and producer Akon says that signing Lady Gaga in 2007 to his Kon Live label has set him up for life.  A godsend in these difficult times, Gaga has also saved the taffeta and barbed wire industries, ridiculous costume warehouses, and words like “outré.”

Link: Akon + Gaga 4 Life (Monsters and Critics)

James, Jesse – West Coast Choppers head Jesse James had a joyous and tearful reunion with his dog Cinnabun weeks after the pet went missing.  In similar news, Kirstie Alley found a Cinnabon and has not been seen for weeks.

Link: Jesse Finds Dog (TMZ)

Michaels, Jillian – The Biggest Loser fitness consultant filed a defamation lawsuit against the lawyer heading up a class action suit against Michaels.  Melissa Harnett, leading the charge against Michaels’ Maximum Strength Calorie Control pills, said, “telling people you take two magic pills and then eat chocolate cake all day is a deception.”  Michaels counter-sued, saying her product never claimed to fight chocolate cake.  An excellent play, Michaels, because as we know, nothing man or beast—nothing!—can defeat a good chocolate cake.

Link: Michaels Strikes Back (AHN)

Swan, Black – Director Darren Aronofsky held a secret wrap party for the cast of his movie Black Swan, a movie about the relationship between a seasoned ballet dancer and her…what?  THIS movie is why we don’t get an Aronofsky remake of Robocop?

Link: Aronofsky Wraps (NY Post)

Up In The Air – The writer of the novel behind Up in the Air, nominated for six Oscars, is understandably bitter that he hasn’t been asked to attend the Academy Awards.  “Caution to writers: Don’t expect that because you write a novel that becomes an Oscar-nominated film that you’ll be invited to the Oscars,” wrote Kirn.   We know your pain, good sir.  No member of TBTS has been invited to speak of our glorious exploits on our local AM morning talk show “Big Billy and the Marmot.”

Link: Kirn’s Snub (Cleveland)

Woods, Tiger – The golfing great will give a press conference today in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL.  A small group of reporters, colleagues, and friends will be present, but no questions or cameras are allowed.  If you would like to see anything other than Tiger in any media, you’ll need to go to sleep for a few weeks.  Goodbye Haiti, hello Tiger.  Again.

Link: Tiger’s Conference (EW)