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A TBTS Good Idea™: More Movies about February Holidays and Observances

February 21, 2010

Hollywood obviously lives and dies by the dictum, “If an idea has worked once, try, try it again until everybody gets sick of it.” Hence, the recent spate of comic book movies, video game movies, remakes, etc. And of course the studios have never met a sequel they didn’t like.

I’d be surprised if some fresh-faced young exec hasn’t already noticed that there have now been two quite successful movies based on February holidays—Groundhog Day and this year’s Valentine’s Day. But if not, I think one should. People love this stuff, so give ‘em a few more. Here are a couple of Good Ideas™ I hope someone is considering for upcoming Februarys:

1. President’s Day. President Arthur Robertson, played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, sneaks away from the White House incognito to engage in an activity he once greatly enjoyed—browsing discounted furniture. He heads to the huge President’s Day sale at the Marlo Furniture in Alexandria, Virginia. He’s having a ball perusing the love seats and settees when he happens to see breaking news on a TV that’s visible in the back room storage area. Terrorists have invaded the White House posing as tourists and are holding First Lady Tamara Robertson, played by Jennifer Lopez, and first daughter Molly hostage. And then, it becomes President’s Day f’real, as The Rock speeds back to the White House, goes off like an unleashed bull, and just murders everybody with his bare hands and various impromptu weapons. At one point, he bludgeons a bad guy with a frying pan in the White House kitchen and utters what becomes the movie’s signature catchphrase: “Do you smell what the Prez is cookin’?!?!”

2. Black History Month. To capitalize on these historic times, a Hollywood studio might be wise to tell the stories of some unknown or less commonly known aspects of black history in America. But, feeling the pressure to make the movie more marketable to general (meaning “white”) audiences, they might wish to cast one of the industry’s most popular (meaning “white”) stars in the lead role. Now that’s a conundrum. I would suggest that the studio execs force one of their interns to hole up in the UCLA library to do some research to find a true story of a white woman who helped some slaves escape to their freedom. Sounds doable, right? And then, two words: Sandra freakin’ Bullock. She’s been quite the box office sure thing lately. And she was in Crash, so she’s good with the racial stuff.

3. Creative Romance Month. Well, I can’t exactly describe my ideas for this one, as TBTS is a place for families. Actually, I guess a certain sector of the entertainment industry already has this one covered, as there have probably been at least 12,000 “creative romance” films completed this February alone.    

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Ready, set, go, Hollywood. After you get going on this one, get back to me when you’re ready to tackle April. I’ve got some killer ideas for Arbor Day.

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