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The 100th Episode Clip Show, TBTS Style

February 28, 2010
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You may have noticed over the years that many TV shows put out a “clip show,” almost like a greatest hits album, every once in a while. Among others, these serve two purposes: one, a little self-congratulation; two, a whole episode’s worth of content that’s very easy to develop. Often a milestone such as the 100th episode prompts the packaging and airing of the clip show.

Now it’s my turn. I find it hard to believe in many ways, but the numbers don’t lie (at least not until they’re turned into statistics): I wrote my 100th TBTS post this week. Thanks to my cohorts for the space and the opportunity to dump tens of thousands of words on unsuspecting TBTS readers since June 2009. Here are some arbitrary post categories and, probably according to me alone, some “highlights” of my first 100.

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Analyses of and tributes to stuff I actually like:

Aziz Ansari makes today’s barren pop culture landscape a little brighter. “He’s kinda like a shooting star, but he’s fat, brown, and on the ground.” [OK, so that’s really one of Ansari’s descriptions of his cousin Harris, but it’s still funny. Just go buy the damn album already…I’m going to keep quoting it until you do…]

Season 4 of Dexter made me delightfully sick with anticipation and fear. The season’s ending was brilliant and heartbreaking. Despite its flaws, and it does have a few, Dexter might well be the best drama on TV.

Up and The Fountain are amazing films that all tell me a hell of a lot about what I want to do with the life and the time I’ve been given.

The Nick Drake Volkswagen commercial from 2000 is beautiful.

Modern Family was funny from the beginning, and I think it’s only gotten better.

Man v. Food shouldn’t be as enjoyable as it actually is.

A great writer and musician who knows the human heart better than most, Joe Pernice is one of my artistic heroes.

Devotchka, The Clientele, Vandaveer, As Tall as Lions, Memory Tapes and others are making great music these days.

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Criticisms of pop culture elements and happenings and their potential negative effects:

To the extent that perception equals reality and therefore influences public policy, negative pop culture portrayals of Appalachia on American Idol and a cooking/weight loss show actually do matter.

Depression is not a lifestyle choice, and Kristen Stewart should be ashamed for implying it is.

Kings Island’s Halloween display was grossly insensitive. Oh, and I’m a Halloween scrooge.

Melrose Place ads sent the wrong message at the wrong time.

Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray’s mullet may be profiting by convincing kids that their parents don’t love them if they don’t buy them Miley jeans.

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TBTS Good Ideas™ (which are really the worst possible ideas argued with the best logic I can muster):

 

Sesame Street’s lovable little Elmo should be a zombie and/or teach kids about emo.

Pope Benedict should do some duets.

Lou Dobbs should sing for Aerosmith and make all the lyrics about illegal immigration.

Somebody should make President’s Day, the movie.

Iggy Pop should become a philanthropist. Detroit needs him.

Hugh Hefner should teach Jon Gosselin a thing or two.

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Completely and utterly insane garbage, some of which might actually be funny:

The allegorical power of Diddy’s ass-tweet.

Fake Harrison Ford jokes by imaginary bloggers.

The alternate universe where Cannibal Corpse plays at the White House at the behest of Vice President Sarah Palin.

Khloe “Kohle” Kardashian’s famous fake marriage and the enviable, blissful ignorance of blind, cave-dwelling fish.

Twitter, Cheetos, and Hunter S. Thompson’s acid trip.

Sex between Donald Trump’s and Rod Blagojevich’s hair producing a mutant offspring that inflicts massive urban destruction.

Sammy Hagar’s voice on “Poundcake” causing a massive wave of Halenocide.

A fake application for the job of Hugh Hefner’s new girlfriend.

The offspring of a former Hugh Hefner girlfriend becoming a demonic overlord. [Yes, Hefner’s an easy target. That’s why it’s so much fun to write about him. “Hugh Hefner wears diapers! He hasn’t bathed himself since the Carter administration! He’s a lecherous old fuck!”  See how much fun that was?]

A plant-themed love note from a young Billy Corgan to a teenage version of Jessica Simpson.

Nonstop chatter about Adam Lambert’s FUCKing.

Words of encouragement for an ugly dog and John Mayer’s penis. Buck up, little campers!

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And, finally, perhaps the three most important ideas I’ve crafted and published as a writer for TBTS:

Nancy Grace is evilNancy Grace is evil,  and Nancy Grace is evil.

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Thanks again, folks. A hundred cheers to all of you.

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