The Entertation Index: March 9

Aniston, Jennifer — OK! Magazine, the only news I read and partially the reason I can’t converse with people at dinner parties, says Jennifer Aniston has been working on a personalized perfume for over twenty months, but has yet to give it a name. The contenders? “Aniston,” “Echo,”  and “Lonely, Desperate Hanger-On.” Awwwwww, snap, Jennifer Aniston. You burnt.

Link: Jennifer Aniston’s Perfume Name Game (OK!)

Awards, Academy — Sunday night saw the 82nd annual Academy Awards. Notable wins included Kathryn Bigelow, who became the first female Best Director winner for The Hurt Locker, which also netted Best Picture. Other winners included Jeff Bridges, who used his statuette to make a bong, and Mo’Nique, who is still trying to unwrap her Oscar to get to the chocolate inside.

Link: Oscar Recap (E! Online)

Damon, Matt — The actor confirms that over the new year a man pretending to be him went on vacation to Australia, taking photos and signing autographs as Damon. In fact, he was so successful that the Matt Damon impostor even filmed an impostor film of Matt Damon’s The Bourne Identity, which explains why all of a sudden you’re seeing all this Green Zone nonsense and have no earthly idea what it is.

Link: Damon Targeted by Impostor (Contactmusic)

Galifianakis, Zach — During his stint hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend, if you stuck around to the final sketch you may have noticed that the funnyman was noticeably lacking his trademark beard, yet during the evening’s goodbyes he re-emerged wearing a clearly fake one. How did he pull it off? The following video shows us how.

Link: Shaved, from New York, It’s Zach Galifianakis (NY Times)

Morning Cartoons, Saturday — In May, Warner Brothers plans to release a DVD set of Saturday morning cartoons from the 1980’s, including bygone favorites Thundarr the Barbarian, Kwicky Koala, Flinstone Kids and The Monchichis. So be prepared to have your life become just a little sadder as you sit alone in your apartment watching The Monchichis on a DVD which you totally know you immediately thought about buying when I mentioned it a second ago. It’s okay, I did too.

Link: Saturday Morning Cartoons, the DVD (TV shows on DVD)

White, Betty — Well, you people asked for it — and now you’re gonna get the Saturday Night Live starring Betty White that you wanted so badly and started Facebook groups about. In fact, I already have a rough outline of how the show’s going to go down: 11:35-12:00 Betty White doing things uncharacteristic for an old woman, 12:00-12:07 Musical guest, 12:07-12:23 Weekend Update, 12:23-1:00 Betty White doing things uncharacteristic for an old woman. Enjoy! (I bet she raps. And you deserve that.)

Link: Betty White Confirms She’ll Appear on SNL (People)