The Entertation Index: March 16

Abdul, Paula — The ex-American Idol judge is rumored to be helming an upcoming revamping of Star Search for ABC. Producers reportedly said that they had everything in place for the 1970’s talent show reboot, and that all they were missing was something that would make it an absolute mess. Problem solved!

Link: Paula Abdul in Talks to Headline “Star Search” Reboot for ABC (EW)

Graves, Peter — The Index sends its best wishes to the family of actor Peter Graves, who died of an apparent heart attack on Sunday. Yes, we know he was in Mission Impossible, but an entire generation will forever remember him as Captain Clarence Over in the brilliant Airplane. Here, in honor of the actor, are all of Peter Graves’ scenes from that film all wrapped up into one fantastic clip.

Link: Peter Graves in Airplane (YouTube)

Juliet, Romeo and — A British Shakespeare troupe has recast the teen tragedy Romeo and Juliet, changing the tale of doomed young love to one of a pair of nursing home residents who find love despite the obstacles casting elderly actors in the role. Talk show host Larry King sat in the audience during a recent production, noting afterward “that he thought this version wasn’t supposed to be about young people.”

Link: Juliet and Her Romeo: Star-Crossed Senior Citizens (The Guardian)

Phoenix, Joaquin — The Gladiator star is reportedly headed back to acting, and we’re all just going to pretend that what he’s been doing with this fake-beared-rapper-act hasn’t been acting all along and that we all believe he “went crazy.” So that’s the story. Ready? Here he comes. Congratulations, Joaquin! We’re all so glad you’ve come back to acting again! We really, really missed you and hope you don’t go crazy again!

Link: Is Joaquin Phoenix Really Returning to Acting? (Cinematical)

Simpson, Jessica — The pop star went on The View this week to talk about the fall-out from John Mayer’s recent comments about the ex-pair’s sex life.  “It’s more embarrassing,” Simpson said, “because I’ll walk into a restaurant and I’ll notice that more men are looking at me and I feel like they’re undressing me with their eyes.” Poor, poor Jessica. I feel bad for her, which is exactly why when I see Jessica Simpson out somewhere, I grant her an honorary doctorate degree in economics from Tufts University with my eyes.

Jessica Simpson On “The View”: Men Are Undressing Me With Their Eyes (Huffington Post)

Wolf, Teen — Director Rusell Mulcahy, who is helming the upcoming MTV remake of the 1980’s classic Teen Wolf, tells interviewers that his film won’t be disrespectful to the source material, saying that his film “takes a totally different slant, more of the slant of Lost Boys, so to speak.” Mulcahy then reportedly added. “Wait, what? I’m not doing a remake of the Lost Boys? What? What’s Teen Wolf?”

Link: Russell Mulcahy Defends and Explains Teen Wolf Remake (Den of Geek)