The Entertation Index: March 23

Bieber, Justin – The teenaged Canadian pop/R&B star tells People that he would be open to dating fans: “I think that it just depends – it depends what the situation is. I think that I’m not going to limit myself.”  What he is actually saying: “I would totally nail a hot 16-year-old chick backstage after a concert then tell her I’ll call her but won’t.”

Link: Bieber Open to Fans (People)

Caribbean, Pirates Of The – For the latest installment in the super-successful series Disney is reportedly casting only women WITHOUT artificial breasts, going so far as to ask them to jog in the audition to prove their lack of enhancement.  Good one, Disney.  Might as well call for women without tan lines, then say, “Prove it,” when they try out.

Link: Natural Caribbean (Popeater)

Hilton, Perez – The faux-hawked web-gossip guru gives his best and worst of SXSW.  Best: Snoop Dogg playing exclusively at Perez’ SXSW party.  Worst: EW caring what a talentless, self-aggrandizing hack thinks about SXSW.

Link: Perez’ Picks (EW)

Jones, Star – The erstwhile View co-host is thanking her fans as she recovers from cardiac surgery, a few years after she had gastric bypass to lose massive amounts of weight.  Commenting on her post-hospital diet, she wrote, “who knew that ice chips could taste like steak!”  She said this while reportedly sprinkling ice shavings on a steak.

Link: Star Convalesces (People)

Pattinson, Robert – The teen-screen star gives a recent interview in which he admits to being nervous during sex scenes, especially when the privacy patch falls off: “you realise the whole crew are looking directly at … butt crack.  I can’t think of anything exciting for them about this.”  Funny, that’s probably what they thought about Twilight.

Link: Pattinson Interview (Times Online)

Stars, Dancing With The – The upcoming season of DWTS features Kate Gosselin, Shannon Doherty, Pam Anderson, and Chad Ochocinco, among others.  We’ve put up with shoddy casting before, but this show should no longer legally be able to call itself Dancing With The “Stars.”

Link: DWT“S” (Huffington Post)