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The Entertation Index: March 24

March 24, 2010

Campbell, Naomi – In a recent interview, supermodel Campbell owns up to some ghastly behavior in her past—screaming like a banshee while hitting an assistant with a Blackberry, throwing phones at employees, strangling a driver—but insists she has matured and put that behind her.  Henceforth, she will use a more appropriate volume when assaulting the help, and will employ only understated handbags as weapons.

Link: Naomi Matured (Daily Mail)

Montag, Heidi – The plastic surgery-obsessed Hills co-star told Jay Leno that she has almost reached the legal limit for enhanced breasts: “The limit is 800cc and I have 700cc.”  Unfortunately, Montag hasn’t yet reached the legal limit for vapid and dumb.

Link: Heidi Busted (The Sun)

Phish – Legendary jam band Phish has announced a new 29-date tour this summer.  The group will begin a song in Chicago on June 11, and end it August 18 in Wantagh, NY.

Link: Phish Tour (Rolling Stone)

McGraw, Dr. Phil – Participants on the sort-of self-help guru’s show got jail time for bragging about shoplifting then selling the items on the internet.  Dr. Phil’s lesson here: even when trying to “get help,” it’s probably not a good idea to (proudly) admit to selling stolen goods on TV, and then continue to do it.

Link: McGraw, Crime Dog (Sign On San Diego)

Shore, Jersey – Not only is MTV launching its popular show in 30 countries this week, it’s doing so without changing the names of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino in several countries.  Apparently, the nickname translates well enough into Portuguese, French, Dutch, and other languages that it will not have to be altered to get the joke.  “Embarrassingly trashy TV,” “saddle-bag tan,” and “spike-haired douche-nozzle,” however, will need more than Google Translate to be understood properly in foreign tongues.

Link: Jersey Shore Across the Pond (Gawker)

Starbucks – The complicated-coffee emporium’s new ad for its Sumatra blend exclaims, “It’s about the most adventurous thing you can do and still be at work by 9 a.m.”  If drinking an exotic coffee was intended to make us feel more Totally Extreme about our unfulfilling 9-to-5, this ad had exactly the opposite effect.  Thanks, Starbucks.

Link: Starbucks’ Ad (Some Blog)

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