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The Entertation Index: April 2

April 2, 2010

Coldplay — Gullible British fans flocked to the band’s website to purchase a Coldplay-branded fragrance, only to learn the gag was an April Fool’s Day prank by the band. The rumors of the product spread like wildfire, although Joe Satriani contended that the cologne smelled like him.

Link: Coldplay Cause a Stink With April Fool’s Day Joke (Contactmusic)

Cyrus, Miley — Want to go see the new Miley Cyrus film but can’t get past all the scathing reviews of it? Now you can have the best of both worlds. Filmdrunk has pieced together and recreated almost the entire plot of the Cyrus/Greg Kinnear film The Last Song using only tidbits salvaged from the movies terrible-across-the-board reviews. Pretty damn clever, this.

Link: Plot of New Miley Cyrus Movie Recreated Through Negative Reviews (FilmDrunk)

Day, Independence — A few months ago, Roland Emmerich announced that there would be two upcoming sequels to the smash Independence Day, and now Will Smith is rumored to be signed on for both. The first sequel is allegedly called Independence Day II: Yay! We Rebuilt the White House! and the second will be called Independence Day III: Aww, the Aliens Destroyed it Again.

Link: Will Smith On Board for Two Independence Day Sequels? (Slashfilm)

Dylan, Bob — Over at Rolling Stone is an impressive piece detailing the father of folk rock’s contributions to, strangely enough, hip hop and rap over the years — from the Beastie Boys calling Dylan “the first b-boy” to an opening track he contributed to a 1986 Kurtis Blow album and ending up with the recent phenomenon of covering “Mama Said Knock You Out.” Hmm. I always thought he sounded like he had a mouth full of gold teeth.

Link: Is Bob Dylan Hip Hop’s Godfather? (Rolling Stone)

James, Jesse — The soon-to-be-ex-Mr.-Best Actress, on the heels of the revealing of his infidelities, has reportedly “checked himself into an Arizona sex rehab clinic,” which these days is fancy Hollywood speak for “I have enough money to hire a smart PR person.” Oh, boo hoo, my name’s Jesse James, everyone wants to have sex with me and I can’t stop having sex all the time. Boo hoo. I hope there’s a sandstorm or a drought or whatever they get in Arizona while he’s there.

Link: Jesse James Enters Rehab, What’s Next for Sandra Bullock? (ABC News)

Martin, Chris — Wow. Two Coldplay items in one day. The band’s frontman tells Q magazine that the best advice he’s ever received as a performer came from R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe, who suggested Martin “wear tight pants.” The second best advice he ever received also came from Stipe, who also recommended that Coldplay “only be really good from the years of 1983-1994.”

Link: Chris Martin Reveals “Tight Trouser” Charm (Digitalspy)

Merkerson, S. Epatha — Longtime Law and Order star S. Epatha Merkerson has announced that she will not be returning to the consistent NBC ratings giant after this season, citing that at no time during her tenure at Law and Order did anyone pronounce her name correctly, and adding that “my checks are made out to S. Aphasia Middle-Earth, the show’s press materials refer to me as S. Palatial Meddlesome, and even the name on my trailer door reads S. Erasure Murgatroyd. I mean, they’re not even trying.”

Link: Law and Order Losing Longtime Lieutenant S. Epatha Merkerson (E! Online)

Painters, Abstract American — As we reported here two weeks ago, the art commentary site Modern Art Notes is, like its NCAA counterpart, down to the Final Four in its “Greatest Living American Abstract Painter Tourney.” If you’re like me, your bracket was shot after Mary Heilmann upset Christopher Wool to get into the quarterfinals. Now all that remain are Ellsworth Kelly (1) vs. Brice Marden (12) and Cy Twombly (2) vs. Robert Ryman (3). And I’m sure at your workplace, like mine, everyone suddenly is on the Marden bandwagon. Everyone loves a cinderella.

Link: The Tourney-ish — The Final Four! (Modern Art Notes)

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