The Entertation Index: April 23

King, Larry – In the process of maybe or maybe not getting his eighth divorce, Larry King readies himself for his post-TV career as a Troll doll.  (This photo can’t be real, but it sure is funny.)

Link: King Pic (Gawker)

Momsen, Taylor – The Gossip Girl co-star and singer for band Pretty Reckless tells Entertainment Weekly that she is not a pants person, often forgoing them to wear tights, or garters, or just underwear.  So, if you’re a 16-year-old TV- and rock-star, being pantsless in public will get you an interview with Entertainment Weekly.  If you’re a 33-year-old non-TV- or rock-star, being pantsless in public will get you an entrance interview with the county jailer.

Link: Momsen Sans-Culottes (EW)

Rancic, Giuliana – The E! News host laments her infertility, saying, “[t]he doctor told me, ‘Gain five pounds.’ I gained seven. I didn’t get pregnant. And I got mad at the doctor. I did everything he wanted me to do.”  Her doctor supposedly did not tell her to have sex, however, which many experts believe to be a major cause of pregnancy.

Link: Rancic Still Not Pregnant (Huffington Post)

Shore, Jersey – Health care reform and MTV’s Jersey Shore, two of America’s most important issues, are on a collision course.  A provision of the new HCR package institutes a tax on tanning beds in July, which is expected to bankrupt the show.  MTV’s top scientists are working around the clock to create an inexpensive, non-toxic bronzer in time.  Pray that they succeed.

Link: Tanning Tax (MTV)

White, Betty – Betty White Eating A Hot Dog: really, look at the pics.  Sorry, but I couldn’t think of a single joke that wasn’t just filthy.  Feel free to submit your own.

Link: White Gobbles Wiener (Huffington Post)

Woods, Tiger – The embattled golfer blew off some steam by partying back-stage in Orlando with the members of Nickelback, without wife Elin.  Note to Tiger, the world despises your infidelity(-ies), but understands human failings and is willing to give you a second chance.  But chilling with the worst scud-rock band in the world?  This we cannot forgive.

Link: Woods Parties (TMZ)