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The Entertation Index: April 29

April 29, 2010

Bieber, Justin – A frenzied crowd of about 500 met Bieber at a New Zealand airport, knocking down his mom and stealing his hat.  One of two things will now happen: the hat will sell on eBay for one scrillion dollars; a strand of Bieber hair from the hat will be mixed into a drink containing nutmeg and eye-of-newt, while a slightly-embarrassed youngish woman chants, “By Light of Moon/I drink this tea/Make Justin fall in love with me!”

Link: Bieber Bum-Rushed (Us)

Bullock, Sandra – It’s official: Bullock is filing for divorce.  In another bombshell, The Blind Side actress also announced that she secretly adopted a child earlier this year.  So she’s trading in an old whining, crying, crap-spewing, microbe-transferring baby with no impulse control for a new one.  Better luck this time.

Link: Bullock Divorcing (ABC)

Carrey, Jim – Fans and media have been wondering if Carrey is “losing” it, since he’s been issuing tweets containing the undefined word “BOING” up to 40 times per day.  OK, folks: you’ve seen Carrey in In Living Color, Ace Ventura, The Mask, Bruce Almighty, The Grinch, etc., and you’re just now asking if he’s lost it?

Link: Carrey Crazy? (Popeater)

Hefner, Hugh – The Playboy head donated the final $900,000 needed to save the iconic Hollywood sign.  “The Hollywood sign is Hollywood’s Eiffel Tower and I’m pleased to help preserve such an important cultural landmark,” said Hefner.  “Besides, something in Hollywood needs to be older than me,” he may have added.

Link: Hef Saves (Sky)

Pavelka, Jake – The Bachelor unleashed a torrent of tears when he was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars, saying he didn’t realize how difficult it would be to leave.  We suspect, however, that he was pissed he had to actually exert effort and work with only one woman rather than having a 25-woman phalanx cater to his every whim.

Link: Pavelka Pules (Bodog Life)

Winehouse, Amy – The volatile singer was hospitalized after falling in her London home.  She was taken to a private clinic, where the staff supposedly greeted her with “Ah, Ms. Winehouse!  Wonderful to see you again so soon.  Will you have your usual room?”

Link: Winehouse Hospitalized, Again (iVillage)

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