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The Entertation Index: May 28

May 28, 2010

Buy war bonds.

Bailey, Beetle — USA Today‘s chat with Beetle Bailey creator Mort Walker reveals that Walker’s dedication to continuing the military-themed comicstrip is out of carrying a torch for the bygone days of the comic pages of newspapers. For Beetle Bailey‘s 60th birthday this summer, episodes of the strip will see the gang set in classic patriotic settings, contests will be held at the official Beetle Bailey website, and a commemorative postage stamp will be issued. If any of this news thrills you, consider it one of the last thrills of your long and fruitful life before the sweet release of death, because you are probably about one hundred years old.

Link: Beetle Bailey Marches On, With Mort Walker Leading (USA Today)

Brody, Adrien — The star of the upcoming film Splice and Robert Rodriguez’s Predator remake tells reporters an odd story about what happened when he accidentally received two male goats — one lusty and one not — for his upstate New York farm, rather than his requested male and  female. After Brody describes the horror and guilt he felt at allowing goat rape, he explains that he sent the pair to live in California. Speaking of goat rape, that reminds me: I recently watched Adrien Brody in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village.

Link: Adrien Brody Still Traumatized by Goat Rape (Starpulse)

Dewyze, Lee — Wednesday night saw American Idol crown its most recent champion, paint salesman Lee Dewyze. In case you missed the finale, Lee defeated the smoke monster and tracked down former President Logan before crowning former Poison frontman Bret Michaels as his next assistant and dancing with the Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Sherzinger. Sorry, I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy.

Link:  American Idol Finale — Lee Dewyze Wins (CBS)

Grease — This summer, the John Travolta/Olivia Newton-John musical sensation Grease will be re-released to theaters with lyrics to the movie’s music featured on the screen in sing-along fashion. While some feel that a Grease sing-along will be a great way for singles to meet new people, others argue that singing along to the music of Grease when you watch the movie is probably part of the reason you may be single to begin with.

Link: Grease is the Word Again This Summer (CHUD)

Lauer, Matt — Tabloid stories don’t get any weirder than the current rumors concerning the true identity of one Alexis Houston, the alleged mistress of Today Show host Matt Lauer, who once defrauded people by claiming to be Whitney Houston’s cousin and also, in fact, may have once been a man named Wellington Houston. If this gender switcheroo is the truth, and if the rumors are true, it would seem that “what’s happening in Matt Lauer’s neck of the woods” may have been a noticeable adam’s apple.

Link: Singer Alexis Houston, Who Never Had Sex With Matt Lauer, Used to be a Man Named Wellington Houston (NY Post)

Montag, Heidi — The Hills star recently filmed an unofficial “screen test” of herself shooting targets at a shooting range in an effort to obtain Megan Fox’s recently vacated role in Transformers 3 and posted the video to a Twitter account which she believed to be director Michael Bay’s, but it wasn’t. Although it’s true that Montag seems a good fit — being at this point 75% robot herself — the fact remains that a better way to show Bay how she fit into the already-ridiculous-sounding Transformers 3 equation was not to be firing guns but rather effectively handling a bomb.

Link: Heidi Montag’s Audition Tape to Replace Megan Fox in Transformers 3 (Radar)

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