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What Have We Learned From Pop Culture This Week?

June 12, 2010

And we’ve come to the close of another week. And as we, the cultured and self-aware denizens of this great land always should, we undoubtedly learned a little bit more this week about our worlds, about our society, nay, about ourselves. And what better way to gauge the past week, this week June sixth in the year of our Lord 2010, than by taking a look backward and finding out how far we came this week in terms of pop culture. Cue memory sound effects. And go.

A girl kissing a girl means “everything’s going to be alright.” Yes, once again MTV has assuaged our worries about the well-being of a female celebrity by having that female celebrity kiss another female celebrity. It happened years ago with Britney Spears, who triumphed her segue from pop teen to young woman by kissing the almighty Madonna, and it happened this past Sunday night at the MTV Movie Awards as the recently put-upon and troubled Sandra Bullock showed everyone that she’s doing just fine by appearing from her self-imposed exile to share an kiss with Scarlett Johansson. And here we’ve spent all this time worrying about the oil spill in the Gulf. Are you taking notes, BP? According to the Hollywood spin machine, there’s a very easy way to make everything alright again. Although I’m not quite sure I want to see BP Chief Executive Tony Hayward open-mouth kissing another oil executive on television, it would indeed take our minds off the spill — in a very, very disturbing way.

It’s important to maintain a sense of decorum when attending a school commencement ceremony. No one exhibited this more than our very own Index favorite Lady Gaga this week as she attended the high school graduation of her younger sister from Manhattan’s Convent of the Sacred Heart wearing what appeared to be a beekeeper’s mask and see-through pants. Truly, graduation is a special time and special measures must be taken, as Gaga knows. She also taught us the correct thing to wear to a Mets game, which is, apparently, “the finger.”

The Bermuda Triangle is fictional. This week, we learned that the new Indiana Jones movie, which is purported to end the series. would be about the Bermuda Triangle. Then we learned it wouldn’t be about the Bermuda Triangle.  All we know now is that it’s still planning on focusing on the increasingly steely, cranky and aloof Harrison Ford and young Shia LeBouf, who has already badmouthed the franchise along with Lucas and Spielberg. Nothing a stone temple chamber full of exotic insects and snakes can’t fix, I’d wager. And who are we kidding? You know we’ll watch no matter what it’s about.

Good karma trumps emergency back surgery every time. After U2 frontman and known do-gooder Bono’s back problems sidelined U2’s summer tour, the sunglassed superhero was spotted this week out to lunch with a friend — which means the surgery went well and the singer is making a very speedy recovery. So while you’re having trouble kicking that runny nose, you might want to ask yourself “what have I done to help the orphans of Somalia?” As Bono knows, there are simply some things which can’t be cured by NyQuil; an international relief crusade is God’s antihistamine.

Self-leaking a sex tape of yourself is good for your self-esteem. The week began abuzz with rumors that a sex-tape had been leaked starring Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub — whom I somehow was successfully able to avoid knowing anything about for several years until this week — and then the press learned that the source of the leak was none other than Staub herself, who giggled and laughed about it. If Staub’s healthy attitude toward herself and her private life is any indication, it’s time for you to set up the ol’ video camera and get to work. At least she had a partner in the video, so it wasn’t totally “self-help.” So long, Week of June 6!

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