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The Entertation Index: July 7

July 7, 2010

Bardem, Javier — Brace yourselves, Gleeks…your beloved television musical is about to get a little more caliente. A current report over at Entertainment Weekly alleges that the latin lover is set to appear in an upcoming episode of Glee as a heavy metal rock star. Sources say that the episode is a lot of fun, with some great musical numbers, but takes a grim turn in the third act, wherein Bardem kills Lea Michelle’s character Rachel with a hydraulic cattle gun.

Link: Javier Bardem to Rock Out with Artie (EW)

Fox, Samantha — Remember Samantha Fox? She’s poised for her comeback and has once again found her way back into the headlines because she…may have rabies. The 80’s diva was visiting Thailand with a friend when she reached down to pet a cat which sunk its teeth into her hand, possibly infecting her with the feral disease. If you ask me, this all seems like a fishy PR stunt; after all, she’s all ready to drop her new single next month, “Naughty Girls Need a Series of Painful Vaccine Injections Over the Course of Several Days Too.”

Link: Samantha Fox in Feral Cat Rabies Scare (NineMSN)

Prince cannot hear you.

Prince — You may as well just shut down your computer and walk away, folks, because according to legendary funk-popster Prince, the internet has run its course. “The internet is completely over,” said the rocker in a UK newspaper, comparing the phenomenon to other once-relevant  cultural outlets like MTV. In addition, Prince will only release his upcoming album 20TEN on CD format, hates iTunes and has shut down his own official website. In a related story, the internet has declared that Prince is completely over.

Link: Prince Hates iTunes, Says “Internet is Completely Over” (PopEater)

Spears, Britney — The also-ran songstress tells Cosmo that she’s “dreading” the day when her sons Sean Preston and Jayden James approach her asking how babies are made. When it comes time for the chat, Spears plans to sit the duo down and explain to them, delicately, that a child is made when a studio hires a brand manager and several publicity and Q-rating firms, designs a multi-tiered marketing plan over several years, focus groups the child to make it more marketable, designs its “look” and puts it on a stage.

Lin: Britney Spears “Dreads” Sex Chat (Contactmusic)

Stallone, Sylvester — During press junkets for his upcoming action film The Expendables, Sly tells the press that “films have become too sophisticated.” This is thought to be either a clever way of saying his new film’s special effects aren’t quite competitive with other recent action films or yet another attempt to find  someone who will explain “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” to him.

Link: Stallone: Modern Films “Too Sophisticated” (3 News)

Starr, Ringo — Arguably the most famous drummer in the world hits the big seven-zero today (wow), and, as he has asked for his birthday since 2008, he would like everyone to say the words “peace and love” in unison at precisely noon. Presumably not taking part in this event will be his former bandmate Paul McCartney, who at precisely noon every day says “I think I’ll have another money sandwich for lunch today, please.”

Link: You Say It’s Your Birthday? Help Ringo Starr Celebrate When He Turns 70 (NY Times)

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