The Entertation Index: July 8

Diaz, Cameron – The Knight and Day actress tells Harpers Bazaar that while other asses that have propelled people to fame and fortune have been bigger, hers is tiny and, well, “juicy.”  Maybe it’s just me, but butts are just one of those things that maybe shouldn’t be described as “juicy.”

Link: Cameron Describes Her Booty (Harpers Bazaar)

I must thrill...The Queen.

Elizabeth II, Queen – While visiting Pinewood Studios in Toronto, England’s monarch was given 3-D viewing glasses dotted with Swarovski crystals spelling out “Q” on the side.  After viewing a Bollywood dance routine, the Queen may or may not have said that she eagerly awaits “the senseless but wildly entertaining self-violence and hilarious bollocks-stompery” of Jackass 3-D.

Link: Queen Watches in 3-D (EW)

Lohan, Lindsay – The troubled starlet appeared at her court hearing proclaiming her desire to turn her life around and make amends for her past transgressions—with “fuck u” printed on her middle fingernail.  Kids, Lohan is giving a free, non-parodical workshop of the exact 100 things one should not do when dealing with the justice system.  Pay attention.

Link: Lohan Gets Her Nails Done (WWTDD) NSFW?

London, Jeremy – The Mallrats actor has a new detail to add to his crazy story about allegedly being kidnapped and forced to do drugs: he was acting.  To try to fit in and not be harmed, London implies that he played the part of gung-ho drug using partier.  This appears to be the only time that London’s acting has been effective.

Link: London Was Acting (People)

Playboy Portugal – The nudie magazine will no longer print a Portuguese edition after a cover and photo shoot that included depictions of Jesus.  Wait, someone thought it would be a good idea to include Christ in nude scenes in Playboy?  Who do they have running the show, some crazy 84-year-old guy who runs around in pajamas all day?

Link: Playboy Portugal Done (Gawker)

Ruffalo, Mark – The Eternal Sunshine actor describes his sex scene with Julianne Moore in The Kids Are All Right: “Think of yourself walking into a room naked with a sock on your cork with a room full of people that you don’t really know and then having to simulate sex with the director telling you how to do it.”  Strange.  This was exactly the way I passed Calculus.  Without the simulation.

Link: Ruffalo Interview (Huffington Post)