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TBTS TalkRoach™: Gossip That Refuses to Die (Week Ending July 10, 2010)

July 10, 2010

(The Brown Tweed Society’s TalkRoach™ highlights mundane, ridiculous, and outright unbelievable pop culture stories that should have fizzled after a day—or should never have been news in the first place—but have somehow survived.)

Who could have foreseen the crazy?

1.  Mel Gibson Is Also Racist and Sexist:

The hits just keep coming for The Road Warrior.  Not satisfied with his 2006 drunken anti-Semitic rant (delivered to a Jewish police officer), Gibson was caught on tape spewing absolutely hideous violent, racist, and sexist garbage to his then-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.  I would say that this guy has gone off the deep end, but it appears that happened a while ago.  He got somewhat of a pass after his apology to the Jewish community in 2006, but this one may fit in the “fool me twice, shame on me” category.  Looks like it’s self-produced movies from here on out, which should be a punishment except when one considers the hugely profitable, Gibson produced/written/directed Passion of the Christ.  It would be easy to say that after this, he’s cooked, but rich assholes have a way of surviving.

2. Gwyneth Paltrow Has An Amazing Kitchen:

I’ve always been amazed at the strength and stamina of our society’s obsession with celebrities’ houses, cars, etc.  Maybe it’s benign envy, or maybe a sort of self-flagellation without the, um, flagellum.  Whatever the explanation, Gwyneth Paltrow apparently has an amazing kitchen.  So amazing that Jeffrey Steingarten of Vogue has written a feature on it, and her, and her new cookbook.  He writes about Paltrow’s kitchen that “the first thing I noticed was how beautiful and clean her kitchen is, all white and filled with enviable appliances, including a dedicated deep-fat fryer…”  Of course it’s spotless and crammed with awesome gadgetry.  Gwyneth Paltrow is super-famous and wealthy, as is her husband, Chris Martin of Coldplay.  They could buy a million-square foot kitchen, plate it in gold, and hire Oompa-Loompas to perform dance routines while cooking magical dishes for their Paltrow-Martin masters and clean up afterward.  I’d be surprised if Gwyneth, a noted gourmand, didn’t have an enviable kitchen.  Another way the rich are different than you and me.

3. Megan Fox Looks Great in a Wedding Dress:

Ok, I admit that I have a thing for Megan Fox, which is no surprise to readers of this site.  Whether or not you think she’s hot, a woman who is known almost entirely for being really hot is probably going to look super-hot on her wedding day.  You know that day, right?  The day when a team of beauticians, hairdressers, close friends, and family spend hours shoehorning an exasperated woman into a dress/torture device and making her camera ready for the hundreds of photos she’ll be in that day.  (I’m not saying that I agree with this ritual—I’m just saying this is the way most weddings go.)  So saying that a woman who was voted FHM’s 2008 Sexiest Woman Alive looks stunning on her wedding day is as surprising as saying that Death Valley is hot in July.

4. A Sports Guy Did Something:

LeBron James, whose name in French means “The Bron,” single-handedly destroyed Cleveland, OH, Thursday night.  I think there’s a saying about egg inventory and a single basket that might apply here.

Thanks, entertainment media, for informing the world about GwynTrow’s mad knife skillz!

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One Comment
  1. July 11, 2010 10:24 pm

    I’m confused by one thing… Is there a such thing as an undedicated deep fat fryer. I mean a deep fat fryer that’s also used as something else? Okay, you can deep fat fry in a pan, but I would imagine that 80% of houses in the South have a Fry Daddy that is only used for frying.

    Of course, maybe that wasn’t the end of the sentence, I don’t know. I don’t care enough about her to read the story.

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