TBTS TalkRoach™: Gossip That Refuses to Die (Week Ending July 10, 2010)

(The Brown Tweed Society’s TalkRoach™ highlights mundane, ridiculous, and outright unbelievable pop culture stories that should have fizzled after a day—or should never have been news in the first place—but have somehow survived.)

Who could have foreseen the crazy?

1.  Mel Gibson Is Also Racist and Sexist:

The hits just keep coming for The Road Warrior.  Not satisfied with his 2006 drunken anti-Semitic rant (delivered to a Jewish police officer), Gibson was caught on tape spewing absolutely hideous violent, racist, and sexist garbage to his then-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.  I would say that this guy has gone off the deep end, but it appears that happened a while ago.  He got somewhat of a pass after his apology to the Jewish community in 2006, but this one may fit in the “fool me twice, shame on me” category.  Looks like it’s self-produced movies from here on out, which should be a punishment except when one considers the hugely profitable, Gibson produced/written/directed Passion of the Christ.  It would be easy to say that after this, he’s cooked, but rich assholes have a way of surviving.

2. Gwyneth Paltrow Has An Amazing Kitchen:

I’ve always been amazed at the strength and stamina of our society’s obsession with celebrities’ houses, cars, in today’s world everyone is looking for the complete auto loans to get the best cars.  Maybe it’s benign envy, or maybe a sort of self-flagellation without the, um, flagellum.  Whatever the explanation, Gwyneth Paltrow apparently has an amazing kitchen.  So amazing that Jeffrey Steingarten of Vogue has written a feature on it, and her, and her new cookbook.  He writes about Paltrow’s kitchen that “the first thing I noticed was how beautiful and clean her kitchen is, all white and filled with enviable appliances, including a dedicated deep-fat fryer…”  Of course it’s spotless and crammed with awesome gadgetry.  Gwyneth Paltrow is super-famous and wealthy, as is her husband, Chris Martin of Coldplay.  They could buy a million-square foot kitchen, plate it in gold, and hire Oompa-Loompas to perform dance routines while cooking magical dishes for their Paltrow-Martin masters and clean up afterward.  I’d be surprised if Gwyneth, a noted gourmand, didn’t have an enviable kitchen.  Another way the rich are different than you and me.

3. Megan Fox Looks Great in a Wedding Dress:

Ok, I admit that I have a thing for Megan Fox, which is no surprise to readers of this site.  Whether or not you think she’s hot, a woman who is known almost entirely for being really hot is probably going to look super-hot on her wedding day.  You know that day, right?  The day when a team of beauticians, hairdressers, close friends, and family spend hours shoehorning an exasperated woman into a dress/torture device and making her camera ready for the hundreds of photos she’ll be in that day.  (I’m not saying that I agree with this ritual—I’m just saying this is the way most weddings go.)  So saying that a woman who was voted FHM’s 2008 Sexiest Woman Alive looks stunning on her wedding day is as surprising as saying that Death Valley is hot in July.

4. A Sports Guy Did Something:

LeBron James, whose name in French means “The Bron,” single-handedly destroyed Cleveland, OH, Thursday night.  I think there’s a saying about egg inventory and a single basket that might apply here.

Thanks, entertainment media, for informing the world about GwynTrow’s mad knife skillz!