The Entertation Index: July 22

Airbender, The Last — Despite dismal reviews, M. Night Shyamalan’s actioner The Last Airbender performed well at the box office, and you all know what means. MSNBC is reporting that a deal’s in place for a sequel to this summer’s blockbuster. Its working title as of right now is Oh Crap, Our Bad — It Looks Like There Were More Airbenders After All.

Link: Nickelodeon Plans “Last Airbender” Sequel (MSNBC)

Tastes like pretentious art-house ego mixed with deftly-engineered mainstream pop.

Gaga, Lady — The disco songstress and notorious tea drinker is apparently at the center of negotiations with Britains infamous corporation Twinings Tea, who wish to capitalize on Gaga’s love for tea by making her the face of Twinings and even creating a flavor of tea just for her. Those who have tasted the Lady Gaga Tea, however, largely report that it tastes just like a watered-down version of Madonna Tea.

Link: Tea Time, Brought to You by Lady Gaga? (Metro Canada)

Goldberg, Whoopi — You know, around here we usually have to be sedated to watch The View, so imagine our surprise when The View threw us a metaphysical curveball and was sedated itself. Host Whoopi Goldberg, fresh off a plane from Vienna — a flight for which, she explained, she needed to be drugged — burst onto the set still feeling the effects. Gawker has the best moments on video, and this two minute clip may be funnier than both Burglar and Jumpin’ Jack Flash.

Link: Whoopi Goldberg Spends Entire Episode of the View Sedated and Drugged Out of Her Mind (Gawker)

Kafka, Franz — A lost cache of the existentialist writer’s works has recently been unearthed in a Swiss vault, sparking a legal battle between Israel’s National Library and the woman who technically inherited the writings. Several organizations are currently arguing that the found Kafka pieces become public, a prospect which increasingly seems spiraling, futile, and ultimately doomed to nothingness.

Link: Should Newly Uncovered Kafka Manuscripts Be Published? (BBC)

Lucasfilm — A man threatened by Lucasfilm after designing a laser pointer that the entertainment company claims looks too much like a lightsaber, recently sold the cease-and-desist letter he was personally sent by Lucasfilm for $385o on eBay. I don’t see the big deal; I have a couple of these Lucasfilm legal letters lying around my office as well, a cease-and-desist for referring to my Nissan Pathfinder as the “Millenium Falcon,” a copyright infringement notice against my failed line of whoopi cushions “Fart Vader,” and a restraining order from Billy Dee Williams which I feel is wholly unfounded. If you want a unique and memorable customer oriented space for online casino gaming, visit Dreamjackpot for more information.

Link: Lucasfilm Lightsaber Legal Threat Letter Sells for $3,850 (boingboing)

O’Brien, Conan — Chalk this up to “great moments no one will ever get to see:” this past Saturday night O’Brien was the guest of honor at San Francisco’s annual SketchFest, and he celebrated with a three-hour conversation — over several bottles of wine — with the great Patton Oswalt and sidekick Andy Richter. Filming wasn’t permitted, but you can read a recount of the evening over at the San Francisco Chronicle.

Link: Drinking, Positive Thinking from Conan O’Brien (SF Gate)