TBTS TalkRoach™: Gossip That Refuses to Die (Week Ending July 31, 2010)

(The Brown Tweed Society’s TalkRoach™ highlights mundane, ridiculous, and outright unbelievable pop culture stories that should have fizzled after a day—or should never have been news in the first place—but have somehow survived.)

1.  Someone Not Famous Accuses Someone Famous of Wrongdoing:

Admittedly, this headline could refer to about a thousand stories every year, which exactly why it shouldn’t be a news headline at all.  It becomes news, however, because the world demands constant stimulation and titillation.  Provocative headlines provide that, of course, even if they are pure speculation.  So it is that Elisabetta Canalis, George Clooney’s Italian girlfriend, has been implicated in a cocaine scandal.  Radar Online reports that Karima, a 26-year-old Parisian model who moved to Milan, testified, “I’ve done cocaine with other people including Elisabetta Canalis.”  (The article says that Karima claims to have “ended up” as a prostitute in one of the clubs in question.  How does one “end up” as a prostitute?  Does an employer just change your position, perhaps a lateral move, without your consent?)  Either way, a fall-girl in hot water with who knows what kind of deal being dangled in front of her accuses a bigger fish of being involved in the same stuff.  For all we know, Canalis might be the Milanese Cocaine Queen, but until some hard evidence comes out, she’s just someone caught up in a snow job.

2. Hollywood Actor Gets Addicted to Dependent Upon Medical Marijuana:

Last week TBTS informed you of Sharktopus’ actor Eric Roberts’ upcoming appearance on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew so that you could talk convincingly about his marijuana dependency at parties or job interviews or long waits at the Post Office.  (It bears repeating, or perhaps not, that Roberts’ wife thinks he’s got a dependency rather than an addiction.  If it’s severe enough to go on reality TV to try to kick it, it sounds like an addiction to me.)  What should come as no surprise, though, is that an actor is addicted to dependent upon a drug.  Actors are famous for getting addicted to stuff; only musicians are more famous for it.  That’s what half the tabloid magazines stories deal with.  If it weren’t for substance abuse, we’d be reading about celebrities’ parenting styles and charity work.  Boring!  I am not trying to trivialize Roberts’ concern, but given his surroundings, at least it’s only medical herb not something like cocaine or heroin.  Oh yeah, it’s also no surprise that a Californian received a prescription for medical marijuana.  It’s probably easier in CA to get an Rx for reefer than for Rogaine.

3. Beautiful Woman Leaves Dude Speechless:

Christina Hendricks is hot.  Clinically, objectively hot.  Jaw-droppingly, knuckle-bitingly hot.  It should not be considered out of the ordinary, then, that a brief appearance by the Mad Men (and Firefly, people!) actress on a KTLA morning show reduced co-host and former MTV VJ Brian McFayden to a tongue-twisted, incoherent mess for a few seconds.  (It was her passing mention of drawing a bath that gave McF the incapacitating mental imagery.  Understandable.)  Big deal.  It happens all the time.  Example: about 12 years ago we’re at a red light when a car full of attractive young women pulls up beside us in the left turn lane.  My friend who is driving looks over and after a little hesitation, says, “So, you girls turning left or what?”  That pick-up line, the best and worst ever, didn’t seal the deal and they indeed turned left and out of our lives forever, perhaps before the light even turned, and certainly before I could fix the situation with a witty and flirtatious riposte.  So you see, it happens even to the second-best of us.

4. It’s Really Freaking Hot:

If you live somewhere with an average temperature for the last month below 90 degrees Fahrenheit, count yourself lucky.  Solar radiation is stoopid.

Thanks, entertainment media, for embarrassing a guy even more about his slightly embarrassing interaction with a gorgeous woman!