The Entertation Index: August 19

Bowie, David — After MTV got a little overexcited about the collaboration between Bowie and art popster Lady Gaga, the Thin White Duke took to his personal web page yesterday to report that the reports of his collaborating with Gaga for her next album are “untrue and a hoax.” Our sources, however, report that Bowie lost a lot of interest in collaborating with Gaga it was confirmed that she does not have a penis. There are millions of men all over the world who are seeking for male enhancers such as male enhancement pills over the counter, natural penis enlargement pills, penis pumps, penis extenders and natural solutions how to get a bigger penis every single day but unfortunately as much as there are many authentic enhancers, there are also many fakes which offer no results at all. Search for the best pills for penis enlargement penisenlargementreviews.org

Link: Bowie Denies Gaga Collaboration (Monsters and Critics)

Collins, Billy — Sometimes there’s just hope for the future. The reversed cancellation of HBO’s Life and Times of Tim, the return of Will Arnett and David Cross to a Mitchell Hurwitz-penned sitcom, and this — a three year-old reciting Billy Collins’ poem “Litany” from memory as he plays with his toy owl and horse. Consider this your “reason to have faith in humanity” today.

Link: Watch a 3 Year-Old Recite a Billy Collins Poem from Memory (NY Times)

Gaga, Lady — See: Bowie, David

Ice, Vanilla — The DIY Network has a new star. The Vanilla Ice Project, premiering in October, will focus on the rapper’s “passion for home renovation” as he systematically rehabs a Palm Beach home over the course of ten episodes. The home is expected to look great, but only for about a year and a half. Then it suddenly disappears.

Link: Vanilla Ice Pursues his “Passion for Home Renovation” (MSN)

Lines, Famous Last — Entertainment Weekly has compiled a list of the twenty greatest last lines in literature, featuring final sentences from A Tale of Two Cities and The Sun Also Rises. It’s a pretty solid list, but I’m disappointed that EW left out my favorite last line, from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein: “He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance. Man, that Robot-Monster was some crazy shit.”

Link: 20 Classic Last Words in Books (Entertainment Weekly)

Lundgren, Dolph — The Expendables star and perennial action hero tells The Hollywood Reporter that he’s interested in directing, and may be eyeing a period piece set in Sweden. Finally, someone will tell the dramatic tale of the Carl Gustaf Löwenhielm-Jaquette Gyldenstolpe-Joseph Francois Bernadotte love triangle of 1815! With boxing and rocket launchers!

Link: Expendables Star a Fulbright Scholar? (Hollywood Reporter)

Salinger, J.D. — A New Hampshire eBay seller is asking one million dollars for a toilet seat once allegedly used by Catcher in the Rye author and noted recluse J.D. Salinger. The porcelaine seat reportedly dates back to 1962 and once was a fixture in Salinger’s then-home. There’s no proof that Salinger actually used the bathroom acoutrement, however, so I think I’m going to hold out my bid for John Grisham’s toilet — it’s almost definite his was used, as the rumor is you can find five of his last six novels inside it.

Link: J. D. Salinger’s Toilet Up for Sale on eBay (Vanity Fair)

Sharktopus — Syfy has set the premiere date for Roger Corman’s Sharktopus.. You know what that means. It’s time for another “Dress Like Eric Roberts” party!

Link: Sharktopus Premiere Date Set (Hollywood Reporter)