The Entertation Index: August 23

Girardi, Vienna – After it didn’t work out with The Bachelor Jake Pavelka, Girardi is seeing a new man, college student John Sala.  A friend says of Girardi, “She kept saying how hot he is and how happy she is with him.  She would say things like, ‘Do you see this man? He is gorgeous. Isn’t he the hottest guy ever?”  Finally for Vienna, a relationship based on mutual love and respect, common interests, and a mature acceptance of one another’s flaws.  This one will certainly go the distance.

Link: Girardi’s New Man (People)

Lohan, Lindsay – The rehabbing actress is not allowed to work out at the gym at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Hospital.  This is a good move, since a hulking, coke-fueled LiLo with prison muscles would be unstoppable, crushing bouncers at exclusive clubs and taking what she pleases from expensive boutiques.  UCLA, the world owes you a debt we cannot possibly repay.

Link: Lohan Refused Workouts (TMZ)

New Jersey, Real Housewives of – During a taping of a RHONJ reunion, Danielle Staub and Teresa Giudice apparently took issue with each other and “were ready to go and they were ready to put it all out on the table”  We assume they were fighting over who best embodied the worst stereotypes about New Jersey.  Co-star Caroline Manzo and host Andy Cohen had to step in to calm them down and assure them that they were both equally unlikable.

Link: RHONJ Reunion (People)

Pratt, Spencer – The soon-to-be ex-husband of plastic surgery queen Heidi Montag is reportedly in talks to release a sex tape featuring the two.  Let’s hope the negotiations focus on how much to pay him not to release it.

Link: Speidi Sex Tape? (Gawker)

iTunes Genius? Or more Pandora?

Price, Katie – Brit tabloid fixture and Playboy alum Price debuted her line of iPod accessories with an over-the-top outfit that included an iPod tiara and iPod Shuffle earrings.  And still, somehow, the greatest amount of silicon was not atop her head.

Link: Price’s New Line (Daily Mail)

Uggs – This fall, Jimmy Choo will debut a $795 pair of Uggs that look like something you would summon by chanting “Uggs” three times into a mirror in a dark room.  This makes $765 for a squirrel-beer look like a bargain.

Link: Choo + Uggs = Chuggs (Jezebel)