The Entertation Index: September 2

Gibson, Mel — A recent 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll reveals that a staggering 76% — 80% of men and 72% of women — say they were not affected at all by recent, insane tapes of actor Mel Gibson threatening his girlfriend. The poll may be slightly askew however, since 81% of the same pollees answered “yes” to the next question on the survey: “Do you own Bird on a Wire on DVD or Blu-Ray?”

Link: Moviegoers Still Want to See Mel Gibson Films (Hollywood Reporter)

Gosselin, Kate — Reality show star and Hollywood parasite Kate Gosselin has — after being made to feel like she was hilarious in her cameo on Sunday night’s Emmy awards — allegedly announced to friends that she wants to pursue acting full-time, with a friend quoted as saying “the show she would really like to be cast in is Mad Men.” Actually, this kind of fits. After all, like life in the early sixties program, Gosselin already has way more kids than she needs, can’t stop advertising, and her children are constantly around a man who chain-smokes.

Link: Kate Gosselin Wants to be an Actor Now (The Blemish)

Green, Cee Lo — We’ve all been waiting for the perfect song of the summer, and I’m pleased to announce it’s here — you just can’t say it’s title in mixed company. The song, debuting on YouTube a week and a half ago, has gone viral in a big way, prompting the Times and New Yorker to both defend Cee Lo’s right to use the song’s profanity and argue that the song couldn’t have been called anything else. Oh, did I mention the song is called “Fuck You?” It is. And it’s awesome. Be warned that the language linked in the video below is not safe for work. Come to think of it, I guess the language in this Index item isn’t either anymore. Just listen to it. It’s just a word, Iowa!

You are going down, Cramer.

Link: Cee Lo, the Times, and “Fuck You” (New Yorker)

Lautner, Taylor — The Twilight star, currently in a legal dispute with an Irvine, California RV salesman, has been challenged to a push-up contest by the salesman as a means of settling their current conflict. If this is what we’re doing with celebrities now, I’m officially throwing down the gauntlet and challenging Sister Act star Kathy Najimi to a dance off. Or at least financial advocate Jim Cramer to some Indian leg wrestling.

Link: RV Dealer Challenges Taylor Lautner to Push-Up Contest Following Lawsuit (Cinematical)

Palin, Bristol — The daughter of the former vice presidential nominee — after reportedly shopping a reality program with ex Levi Johnston around Hollywood to no avail — has agreed to appear on Dancing With the Stars, though she tells the press she has “been approached to do a lot of things,” among them to go away, to cease capitalizing on her mother’s name and stop trying to make a dime off the fact she was in the news for three months in 2008.

Link: Bristol Palin on “Dancing With the Stars”: “I’ve Been Approached to do a Lot of Things (EW)

Polizzi, Nicole “Snooki” — It seemed like the perfect romantic gesture: boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy proposes marriage shirtless on the cover of a low-rent gossip magazine — but it wasn’t meant to be. Iraq War vet Jeff Miranda’s act of love was denied by the orange one on her twitter account, where Snooki classily responded with “Just want to set the record straight. I’m single and I’m not going to get married!” If Miranda had truly taken the time to get to know the Jersey Shore star, he’d have known that she’s had her engagement night planned in her head since she was a young girl: Applebees’ cheeseburger sliders by candlelight, followed by a romantic evening of watching a Wildest Police Chases marathon and washington apple shots. Try again, buddy.

Link: Snooki Responds to Her Boyfriend’s Proposal (Huffington Post)