The Entertation Index: September 7

Giudice, Teresa – In her recent filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection, the Real Housewife of New Jersey was accused of hiding assets that should have been revealed.  It is unclear whether the article was referring to her wearing a turtleneck.

Link: Housewife Hid Assets? (PopEater)

Lewis, Jerry – The telethon superstar recently explained what he would do to troubled-but-recovering starlet Lindsay Lohan: “I would smack her in the mouth if I saw her… I would say, ‘You deserve this and nothing else – whack!’ And then if she’s not satisfied, I’d put her over my knee and spank her.”  He then reportedly kept saying things that made him sound like a very creepy, dirty old man.

Link: Lewis on Lohan (AHN)

Child services has already been contacted.

Moore, Demi – The Striptease actress drew attention last week for tweeting pictures of herself in a bikini.  She then enlisted a much younger male celebrity to wear the bikini and publish the spoof pictures.  (He was 19-year-old YouTube sensation Dave Days, but you can be forgiven for thinking that we were talking about Ashton Kutcher.)

Link: Demi Loans Bikini (Huffington Post)

Osbourne, Kelly – The daughter of Prince of F*cking Darkness Ozzy Osbourne recently performed with burlesque dance troupe Pussycat Dolls at the Viper Room in Los Angeles.  Osbourne was surprised, though, when she was told she would not be biting the heads off of pussycats or dolls.

Link: Osbourne with PCD (Celebuzz)

Salahi, Michaele – The woman best known for crashing a 2009 White House dinner is going full nude for Playboy.  Asked why she chose an event during the Obama administration to make her famous enough to appear in the magazine, she supposedly said, “no reason.  I just waited too long to make an appearance with Bush.”

Link: Salahi in Playboy (Gather)

Stern, Howard – The shock-jock says that he will probably exit the satellite radio business after his contract runs out with Sirius XM.  NASA is reportedly pleased, since this will decrease the amount of space trash orbiting the planet by about half.

Link: Stern May Be Leaving Satellite Radio (Hollywood Reporter)