The Entertation Index: September 9

A Space Odyssey, 2001 — Before Stanley Kubrick decided to use Richard Strauss’ famous “Aldo Sprach Zarathustra” as the opening to his classic 2001: A Space Odyssey, he commissioned Cleopatra and Spartacus scorer Alex North to write the film’s music. Here is what the original opening would have looked like with North’s score below. But you can see Jason Voorhees chasing people around to the Benny Hill music here. Your choice.

Link: 2001: A Space Odyssey – Alex North Title (FARK via YouTube)

Franco, James — During the press junket for Danny Boyle’s upcoming 127 Hours, James Franco told an interviewer from The Hollywood Reporter about his propensity to masturbate when alone, often having “a four-or-five time day.” Hey, say what you will about James Franco, at least he does his masturbating off-camera. Unlike Glenn Beck.

Link: Brief Q&A with “127 Hours” Star James Franco (Hollywood Reporter)

Hilton, Paris — The socialite, among other problems she has right now, is being sued by Hollywood production firm Worldwide Entertainment Group for distancing herself from the 2006 film National Lampoon’s Pledge This! and refusing to grant interview to overseas publications about the film. Look, I’m sure Paris Hilton is responsible for a lot of terrible stuff in this world, but I’m also pretty sure that the failure of direct-to-video National Lampoon’s Pledge This! isn’t part of it. It was already doomed when it had to put “National Lampoon’s” before the title.

Link: Paris Hilton in Contract Breach (Contactmusic)

Live, Saturday Night — After we reported here last week that the venerable Saturday night staple would be losing Will Forte, another cast member is said to be departing. Jenny Slate (remember her? She dropped the f-bomb on her first episode) will not be returning for the 2010-11 season. In the absence of Forte and Slate, four players will be added to the cast — MadTV vet Taran Killam, Improv Olympic performers Vanessa Bayer and Paul Brittain and impressionist Jay Pharaoh (the first african-american to join in seven years). SNL still refuses, however, to add an “old woman who uses profanity” to the show, which is ridiculous because everyone knows that’s the apex of comedy right now. 

Link: Saturday Night Live Cast Adds Four and Loses One More (NY Times)

Nielsen, Brigitte — The Red Sonja and Beverly Hills Cop 2 star has announced that her upcoming autobiography Red Flags, which you are probably rushing off to pre-order right this very second, will contain intimate details of her two-year marriage to Sylvester Stallone in the 80’s. So you can pay $23 for a hardback version of that. Or you can turn on Animal Planet and see two komodo dragons having sex for free.

Link: Nielsen Writing Autobiography (ContactMusic)

Pan, Peter — The always-fantastic Syfy Network (did that credential me yet for Sharktopus, you curmudgeons?) is planning a four-hour miniseries based on the origin story of J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan entitled Neverland, which will focus on the young hero’s early days as a pickpocket in the London streets. No word  yet on how a robotic python, ice spider or mutant crocodile will fit into the context, but you know that’s gotta be on the table somewhere.

Link: Syfy Readies a 4-Hour Peter Pan Origins Tale, Neverland (IO9)