The Entertation Index: September 10

Aniston, Jennifer — Insiders close to ex-Friend Jennifer Aniston claim that her upcoming role in the film Wanderlust — in which she will reportedly appear topless, do drugs and have a lesbian sex scene — could “ruin” her career. Meanwhile, men across America beg to differ, offering up that not only is this the first Jennifer Aniston movie they would ever go see, but they would probably go see it four or five times, buy the DVD and tell all their friends about it.

Link: Lesbian Sex and Drug Movie “Could Ruin Jennifer Aniston” (Glamour UK)

Gabba!, Yo Gabba — We’ve extolled the many hipster virtues of Nick Jr.’s for-kids-but-also-secretly-for-parents Yo Gabba Gabba!, but when they took the stage at Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last Thursday the entire event felt more like a bizarro Parliament Funkadelic concert than a kids’ review as DJ Lance and the gang partied down to Kool and the Gang’s “Spirit of the Boogie.” Pretty cool for your Friday, I’d say.

Link: Late Night With “Yo Gabba Gabba!” (NY Times)

Jackson, Joe — The late Michael Jackson’s allegedly abusive father Joe has gone on the record as saying that spanking the young singer gratuitously as a child helped keep Michael away from a gang lifestyle. Though Jackson does admit it probably wasn’t smart to give Michael that giant stuffed monkey, let him watch The Elephant Man so many times, or tell him that his nose looked “kinda big.”

Link: Joe Jackson Claims Spanking Kept Michael Away from Gangs (San Diego News)

Jean, Wyclef — Ladies and gentlemen, a play in one act. Sean Penn: “Wyclef Jean, you’re only running for president of Haiti because you’re a shameless opportunist.” Wyclef Jean: “Oh yeah? Well you do coke. All the time.” Sean Penn: “The fact that you’d even say that means you’re an asshole.” The Entertation Index: “You two are the most ridiculously self-important people ever.” And scene.

Link: Sean Penn Responds to Wyclef Jean’s Cocaine Accusation (Rolling Stone)

Hilton, Paris — The billionaire heiress is named in the upcoming tell-all book written by former Girls Gone Wild cameraman Ryan Simkin, who claims that Girls Gone Wild frontman Joe Francis once asked him to deliver a box of cocaine and ecstasy to Hilton and she promptly stowed the box of drugs inside her ladyparts. Even more amazing? It was a shoe box.

Link: Paris Hilton Accused of Smuggling Drugs in her Privates (Huffington Post)

Pattinson, Robert — Executives at HBO have squelched a rumor that the Entourage series finale will feature Twilight’s Robert Pattinson as a particularly difficult client for superagent Ari Gold with a definitive “Sorry, not true.” Top brass allegedly went on to explain and ask “why would we need a vampire on the show? Entourage has had no difficulties whatsoever sucking the life force out of this network for the last three years all by themselves.”

Link: “Entourage Reps Slam Robert Pattinson Cameo Rumors (Starpulse)

Penn, Sean — See: Jean, Wyclef

Watts, Charlie — The Rolling Stones drummer has announced that the timeless band may decide to wrap things up with a farewell tour “either next year or the year after.” While many people may be concerned with the fact that the Stones are hanging it up, what I’m thinking is good Lord scientists you should be pumping Charlie Watts for information on technology known only to the Rolling Stones which allows humans to live at least two more years.

Link: Charlie Watts Talks Rolling Stones Farewell Tour (Paste)