The Entertation Index: September 17

Blowfish, Hootie and the — South Carolina’s capital city of Columbia, which was once home to the band Hootie and the Blowfish, is erecting a monument to the band in the form of a large steel and black granite that is twenty feet long and twelve feet high. Like the band itself in the mid-nineties, the monument will be unavoidable, not particularly interesting at all and way bigger than it probably should be.

Link: S.C. Erects Monument to Hootie & the Blowfish (USA Today)

Boyle, Susan — Only days after Lou Reed denied Boyle use of his music to perform on America’s Got Talent because he “isn’t a fan,” Boyle found herself singing for Pope Benedict XVI during an open-air mass in Glasgow, Scotland on Thursday, where she performed Les Miserables’ “I Dreamed a Dream” and two traditional hymns. After she finished, the Pope added insult to injury as he was reported to say that while the performance was nice, he was really hoping to hear Velvet Underground’s “Satellite of Love.”

Link: Susan Boyle Sings at Pope Benedict XVI’s Mass in Glasgow (USA Today)

DiCaprio, Leonardo — Over the weekend, the Inception star is rumored to have purchased a Sulcata tortoise, which may live to be up to eighty years old. Further investigation, however, revealed the star to simply be hanging out with Shutter Island and Departed director Martin Scorsese.

Link:  Leo DiCaprio Shells Out Cash for Exotic New Pet (TMZ)

Furious, Fast and the — Because you just will not shut up about another Fast and the Furious movie, you’ll be happy to hear that earlier this week Universal released the synopsis of Fast and the Furious 5: Fast Five, which details that “former cop Brian O’Conner partners with ex-con Dom Toretto on the opposite side of the law” and “s they assemble their elite team of top racers, the unlikely allies know their only shot of getting out for good means confronting the corrupt businessman who wants them dead.” Exciting! Though I prefer to summarize Fast Five more succinctly: “Cars.”

Link: Universal Reveals the *Cough* Plot for Fast and the Furious 5 (Reelz)

Kardashian, Kim — In “news that will not affect you in any way whatsoever,” a rumor that Kim Kardashian was spotted buying pregnancy tests during a trip to London, which subsequently spawned a rumor that the celebrity is pregnant, have been ruled false. The dispelling of the rumor didn’t come from Kardashian herself, but rather biologists who stepped forward to claim that “you can’t be seven months pregnant in your butt.”

Link: Kim Kardashian “Not Expecting Baby” (Digital Spy)

Order, Law and — Over a year ago, NBC spun off Law and Order the United Kingdom in Law & Order: UK, and now the cable channel BBC America is going to air those episodes to American audiences. It has yet to be seen, however, whether our audiences are going to take to a courtroom procedural which each week features a bunch of men in wigs mediating tailoring arguments and umbrella fights. Happy Friday, everyone!

Link: Donk Donk! British Version of Law & Order Coming Stateside (NY Times)