The Entertation Index: September 23

Next up, the 100% Angus beef Hasselburger.

Hasselhoff, David – The Knight Rider actor was voted off Dancing with the Stars, one of the first two celebrities to be booted from the show.  When asked what he would do now, Hasselhoff supposedly replied, “I don’t know.  Get fall-down drunk, eat a hamburger?”

Link: Hasselhoff Off (Dallas News)

Hilton, Paris – The hotel heiress was disallowed entry to Japan because of her recent guilty plea to cocaine possession charges.  Japan, which has a very strict policy regarding travelers with current charges or convictions, appealed to Hilton because she allegedly heard it had “tons of snow-covered mountains.”

Link: Japan Spurns Hilton (L.A. Times)

Hopkins, Anthony – The decorated English actor explains how he lost 75 pounds in two years: through lots of exercise and an 800 calorie per day diet.  Interestingly, this is the same diet used by Nicole Ritchie to gain weight.

Link: Hopkins’ Weight Loss (Huffington Post)

Lohan, Lindsay – The Machete actress is “satisfied” with a settlement made with E-trade in her $100 million lawsuit over the company’s commercials featuring a “milk-a-holic” baby named Lindsay.  Lohan claimed that the commercials were an obvious reference to her, since she is famous enough to be known by one name, and her alleged alcoholism.  Details of the settlement are confidential, so let’s hope it involved lots of laughing in Lohan’s face and dumping loads of rotting produce on her.

Link: Lohan, E-trade Settles (AP)

Snooki – The Jersey Shore fan favorite explains to David Letterman that the goal of fellow cast members Mike, Vinny and Pauly when clubbing is “to get it in and ‘smush,’ with one girl or multiple girls.”  Though Snooki had to clarify some lingo to Letterman, this one is pretty obvious: to convince attractive ladies to come home with them and play with Smooshies.

Link: Snooki On Letterman (Huffington Post)

Zolciak, Kim – The Real Housewife of Atlanta recently had her nipple repaired after she tore the stitches from her boob-job revision going down a water slide shortly after her surgery.  Asked why she was playing on water slides so soon after such a procedure, Zolciak replied, “I don’t see a problem with it.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m meeting some friends at the Golden Corral buffet to celebrate my gastric bypass surgery.”

Link: Zolciak Repairs (Perez Hilton)