The Entertation Index: November 9

"A few drinks" to David Cassidy, "Breakfast" to Charlie Sheen.

Cassidy, David – The Partridge Family star was arrested recently for DUI after failing both sobriety and breath tests.  Though Cassidy insisted he hadn’t been drinking, police officers found a “half-empty” bottle of bourbon in his back seat.  Cassidy disputed that account, insisting that the bottle was actually half full.

Link: Cassidy Arrested (Monsters and Critics)

Elizabeth II, Queen – The British monarch has finally joined Facebook.   In addition to keeping fans updated on Royal events, you’ll also need to brush up on your British slang to understand her updates, which will include, “Went arse over tit down B-ham Palace stairs last nite after getting pissed with the princes.  HTFAQ, nancies?”

Link: The Queen on Facebook (NY Post)

Girardi, Vienna – Girardi “won” The Bachelor by capturing Jake Pavelka’s “heart,” but their union ended messily soon after.  Since then she has taken every opportunity she can to capitalize on her hard-earned(?) fame, including hosting a Chippendales’ Ultimate Girls Night Out in Las Vegas.  She even joined the act, getting tied up on stage by a bunch of shirtless cowboys.  Unfortunately, she was not left that way.

Link: Girardi Tied Up (Socialite Life)

Hours, 127 – Danny Boyle’s movie about Aron Ralston, a hiker who amputated his own forearm to free himself from a boulder that fell on him, has a scene so graphic that several people fainted and/or vomited watching it.  Studio execs are concerned, as this is the same reaction that viewers had to all of Marmaduke.

Link: 127 Hours Gets Reactions (L.A. Times)

Maps, Google – Nicaragua is blaming bad State Department info used by Google Maps for its accidental incursion into Costa Rica.  Expect this excuse to be employed if—OK, when—Charlie Sheen is found completely smashed in a border hotel.

Link: Google Maps Mix-up (Gawker)

Speidi – Just when you thought they were gone, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are back.  They admit that their divorce filing wasn’t due to irreconcilable differences or incompatibility or any of the normal reasons.  They had simply blown through a bunch of money and figured that divorcing just after their anniversary would be a great PR move and create a financial windfall.  So there you have it: Speidi are still the same manipulative assholes you thought they were!

Link: Speidi Calls Off Divorce (Huffington Post)